Safe!

For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; it is He who will save us. Isaiah 33:22

American Idol is on tonight! In addition to entertainment and joint focus for our family, it provides an apt illustration of this Scripture. Reid predicted Scotty McCreery as last year's winner and this year we're rooting for Joshua.

At first glance I did not link those 3 titles--judge, lawgiver, and king--with the concept of saving. Condemnation comes to mind before rescue. Certainly the three outline our judicial system and represent a triune God. But then I recalled how the American Idol judges graphically illustrate "the save." One save per season. Last year it was especially dramatic with Casey (click to view). We sit on pins and needles, braving the commercials, sweating each of Ryan Seacrest's fakes to see who will be cut each week. And then whether the judges will use their one save of the season or not.

The Bible is clear about God being judge. That's a relief! I don't have to concern myself with doling out criticism or seeing all sides of an issue. It's also clear on how to be saved.

Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” Acts 16:30-31

I feel for those American Idol contestants under the immense pressure of rejection. As each one gets cut, I pray they remember the difference between the judges and the Judge. It's easy to misplace our fear of the Lord. We will be inevitably defeated by the fear of man.

Not to put autism completely aside, we idolized our home program case manager. She was a godsend when Reid was 5 yrs. old. Her passion was to support families, especially moms in the early diagnosis stage. She was gifted at setting up a program, staffing, training, listening and walking alongside those in the midst of the initial panic and information gathering that marks that phase. I don't know how she put up with me--on the phone or my doorstep ranting and neurosing for hours on end.

She shared with me once that as much as she loved it, there was a pitfall. Emotionally desperate moms (myself included) tended to set her up as a "savior." She arrived on the scene with answers and seemed able to save their child from certain demise. This was a danger for her, since she knew that was not true. And also for them, since she was not omniscient, omnipotent, nor Savior. She could help, but she could not save even one of them.

Having made this mistake in degrees with others after her, I have finally learned that no therapist, drug, diet, or intervention can save Reid. God, the God who designed our sense of smell, heals sensory integration disorder. God, the one who knows our every thought, knows the mind of a even the nonverbal child with autism. No expert, no matter how expensive or experienced, can direct us as well as God can through His Holy Spirit. Don't give them the power that is God's alone, to save....from autism or any other human condition, including death itself.

The insanely good news is that Jesus has more than one save per season!! He came to save us all.

‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' Acts 2:20-22

Correlated with Children of Destiny's Turning the Tide! Prayer calendar for April.

Repentance: my new best friend

Today's prayer prompt on the Turning the Tide! April Calendar leads me to confession. I've fallen into a common trap set for strong women who are motivated by challenge. It's a deep hole that can trip you up at various points for long periods of time on the autism journey. Beware!

"...for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me strength and power. Philippians 4:13 The Living Bible

My mom taught me self-esteem through this scripture--or at least a portion of it. Whether it was my warped listening or her incongruent circumstances of being a single parent, I mostly heard the first part: you can do all things! Abruptly cropped there, the verse became a distorted lie and my head swelled past the healthy percentile. She had me convinced I could be president of the United States if I just put my mind to it. "Mind over matter" was inflated to more than mere axiom.

So, only mildly daunted by the impossibility of conception, I entered adoptive motherhood of twins confidently. I can do anything I set my mind to. I kept marching through early intervention and autism diagnosis, I can do this, watch me. My strong-willed self-talk escalated until it approached ugly fallacies like, "my love will make the difference" and "I know better than anyone" and "I don't need help, I'm fine." Floortime, 40-hr. week intervention, team meetings, PRT, Brain Highways, GF diets, homeschooling, bring it on. I was invincible--and deluded.

I shudder to think now, how great God allowed the demands to become before I would admit the truth, even to my own husband. The raw reality was clear to us both when I finally said, "You're right. I can't do this." I had long before started calling my own shots and was far off base from things God had asked. That's not self-esteem, it's not scriptural; it's sin straight up. I had agreed and perpetuated an ugly mess of pride, self-sufficiency, idolatry, unbelief and control. As each layer of wrong thinking is revealed, the Lord has graciously led me to repentance.

Repentance is my new best friend, for without it I'd still be mired down in that trap with no way out--still trying to do the impossible...alone...or with the added weights of shame and guilt.

Repentance is a powerful punch to the enemy of our souls that's actually deceptively simple. As I come across a verse--like the one today--that I've either misinterpreted, misconstrued or missed the mark in living out, I simply turn around from what's false and agree with the truth as laid out by my loving Father in heaven.

This is amazingly similar to what Reid does at school when he missteps on one of a myriad "School Rules." They call it "turning the day around." Maybe he left the area during morning meeting. He has a chat with one of the teachers to recognize the rule and hopefully choose to turn it around. No condemnation. No permanent penalty. Just returning to life as usual with new resolve to abide by whatever rule. Let's just reason together.

Whether in the natural realm with school rules or the spiritual realm with God's stated principles, freedom begins by recognizing we got something wrong. Then turning away from that, I can agree with truth and walking increasingly toward it. It's a process made habitual by individual small steps.

For example, as I read Philippians 4:13 and realize my flawed thinking, I pray something like this repenting and agreeing with Scripture:

Lord, forgive me for thinking I can do anything without you. I repent for giving ground to pride and selfishness and control. I repent for putting other people and things (idols) in the center of my life. Thank you for offering me Jesus' help. I want to operate in His strength and power which is far superior to my own. I ran myself ragged chasing solutions and doing a million things you never asked me to do. I am so sorry for listening to so many experts before my own husband, let alone You. It went awry like confetti following the law of gravity, when I made my own rules. I need your strength and power. Thank you for the help of Christ. Help me stay close enough to you to hear only what you are asking me to do.

"...for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me strength and power. Philippians 4:13 The Living Bible

Correlated with Children of Destiny's Turning the Tide! Prayer Thrust.

“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the LORD,
“Though your sins are as scarlet,
They will be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They will be like wool. Isaiah 1:18

Testify!

Yikes, its April and we all know what that means. Even those without the diagnosis are thinking about autism. Admittedly, it feels a bit like St. Patrick's Day to me. I can feel the cynicism bubbling up like a briny bucket of corned beef and cabbage. As my husband says, (he has Irish citizenship mind you), "I don't have to wear green I'll be Irish tomorrow."

Gratefully this year, Holy Week is trumping World Autism Awareness Day in my thoughts. Just the same, I pray without ceasing and the best way I know to celebrate Autism Awareness month is to participate in Children of Destiny's Turning the Tide Prayer Thrust. You can print out their month of daily prompts or "like" them on Facebook.

As soon as I clicked there this morning to see Ephesians 3:20--the verse on our adoption letter 17 years ago--I broke into song: "How can I keep from singing your praise?! How can I ever say enough? How amazing is your LOVE!!!"

A plan revealed itself. This year April 2012, I'd like testify to answered prayer! God is answering those prayers, daily, monthly, annually, through our lives. As we lift them up in trust, He is turning the tide. He is answering. Lest the stones cry out, I'd like to give testimony to the ways He is answering at our house. God keeps His promises in our autism-laced lives.

The Passover Seder is a ritual re-telling of how God delivered His people from the bondage of slavery in Egypt. At a certain point in the scripted object lesson, guests around the dinner table recite the specific things God did on their behalf followed by a hearty, "Dayenu!" proclaiming in Hebrew "that would have been enough!"

Two years ago in April 2010 I set out to post a prayer a day. Somewhere around the 10th, all hell broke loose in our house and we were thrown into a harrowing crisis I have yet to recount publicly. It came flooding back to me today marked as it was by coinciding with autism awareness month and this same prayer calendar. That seems a fitting place to start:

That you kept Reid out of a psych hospital...that would have been enough!

That you sent people two by two in prayer vigil with us....Dayenu!

That musicians came to soothe his spirit as he dried out from wrong meds...Dayenu!

That you assigned total strangers to pray for us in new ways.....that would have been enough!

That you parted IEP waters in a single stroke to allow a miraculous change of

schools....Dayenu!

That he is no longer in a pressure cooker of behavior mod and physical restraint but a nurturing community of redemptive grace....Dayenu!

That you replaced my worst fear with new faith...Dayenu!

That you showed me who you really are in the wee hours of the night......that would have been enough!

That you've kept my marriage together through years of stubborn neglect and thrashing.....Dayenu!

That you didn't just deliver Reid, but each of us in the process.....Dayenu!

That I am not the same...that would have been enough!

That my husband's heart is transformed.....Dayenu!

That Allie sees you're real...that would have been enough!

That the boy who I was once told might not write his name, went through 3 composition notebooks yesterday handwriting lists of his favorite things....Dayenu!

That Reid has a ministry to others...that would have been enough!

That you've given Allie more not less through these trials....Dayenu!

That you blessed us with two babies not just one...that would have been enough!

That we can call you Father by a spirit of adoption....Dayenu!

That you still show your glory through healing...that would have been enough!

That you communicate intimately with your people...Dayenu!

That You give us the very faith to believe there is yet more blessing in store....that is enough!

That you are good and your love endures...Dayenu!

Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more that we would ever dare to ask or even dream of--infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes." Ephesians 3:19-21 The Living Bible

Correlated with Turning the Tide! Children of Destiny's Prayer Thrust for the month of April

Puzzle No More

The puzzle piece icon has become an almost universal symbol for autism. Generally speaking, I steer away from it. I don't sport the ribbon pin, keychain, bumper sticker, or mindset--though these clogs did catch my eye.

Nevertheless, today is the day--April is the month--to get on the Autism Awareness band wagon. While I am changing my profile pic, screwing blue bulbs into my porch lights, and printing out my Turning the Tide prayer calendar today, I figured I would also search BibleGateway for what the God has to say about "puzzles."

"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things." Jeremiah 17:8-10 The Message

Read that verse again! The puzzles no one can figure out, are not secrets of darkness to Him. He has a strategy; He's not stumped; He's ordained our days.

He is not puzzled over this epidemic. He is up to something. Further, it is just not His way to hide things from us. He's just waiting like a desperate mom, for each of his children to make eye contact and call out His name.

The Light it Up Blue campaign is easy to scripturalize. As we seek to Shine a Light on Autism, let's call upon the God of Genesis who brought light itself into being with His words, "Let there be light." His Son, the light of the world, came from heaven to earth with a mission to cancel our sin, heal the blind, seek and save the lost. His Spirit communicates those secrets of darkness to us when we ask. According to both the book of Revelation and little Colton's account in Heaven is For Real, there is no darkness in heaven. God and Jesus literally light it up.

I am celebrating dramatic deliverance and freedom this month that we've experienced since last April, which was very dark. From that hellhole of pharmaceuticals, panic, and power failure, we have been rescued. It sounds like I'm preaching but really I am astonished--like Colton's parents--or the Israelites looking back at the Red Sea--that it is all real! Everything He says He does, when we do it His way: remove the idols, pray without ceasing, and submit to our husbands. He shines a light on autism, cancer, AIDS, and every other disease that puzzles us.

Are you getting on the band wagon this April? Ask the Lord what He would have you do. He is faithful to reveal it one piece at a time.

"Blessed be the name of God, forever and ever. He knows all, does all: He changes the seasons and guides history, He raises up kings and also brings them down, he provides both intelligence and discernment, He opens up the depths, tells secrets, sees in the dark--light spills out of him! Daniel 2:22 The Message

Suddenly, God, your light floods my path, God drives out the darkness. I smash the bands of marauders, I vault the high fences. What a God! His road stretches straight and smooth. Every God-direction is road-tested. Everyone who runs toward him Makes it. 2 Samuel 22:28-30 The Message