The Presence of a 1:1 Aide

Reid's school Talent Show was Wednesday. Horray! He transferred his musical skills to a new domain by auditioning, rehearsing, and performing without the aide of music therapist per se, but rather, teachers who are musical. The whole experience was a culmination of many goals mastered and an opportunity for the faculty to see a different facet of Reid.

Picture his solo of "People All Get Ready" by The Frames on a cavernous black stage all by his little lonesome in a glaring spotlight with his skinny knees pulsating rapidly up and down in panic.

He also did this dance number with his classmates:



Yes, I notice he is a whole head taller than the elementary age kids. Granted, it's time to transition him to the Adolescent Program upstairs. Clearly, he has the initiative of Aesop's fabled hare. Anyone can see how much loves the limelight! Not to mention, he can bust a dance move like none other. (Do I need to tell you he is the one on the far right?)

A spiritual point worth making struck me later that day. As I drove back to our "home district," it was dismissal time at the local elementary school. What a contrast to the footage I was excitedly viewing on my digital camera at a red light (living dangerously, I know). A host of schoolchildren congregated on the unprotected sidewalk of a busy artery waiting for two crossing guards to escort them 3 blocks safely under a freeway to residential streets beyond. The ratio had to be 40:2 at least.

I nearly gasped imagining Reid in that crowd with the inherent dangers of his impulsivity and sensory issues. What a "new normal" we have carved out for ourselves. Never could he exist, let alone thrive, in that size crowd.

Did you notice the ratio of adults (in the back row of the video clip) to students in the little troupe? With your trained eye, you probably recognize them as classroom aides. They are close at hand should anything go awry. It never does; for their mere presence ensures the kids' best behavior.

A reasonable assumption at Reid's school is that every student has significant behavioral challenges. Pleasantly surprised by their competence, my husband and I actually whispered in wonderment during the show. It's none of our business, but tempting nonetheless, to armchair diagnose his classmates. For this hour of time, it was hard to tell. Rest assured though, they are there with good cause and at large expense.

Classes are typically a 3:1 ratio with ancillary staff circulating as "problem solvers" on call and close at hand if required to intervene or enforce. Ever so gradually, they wean the kids off the dependence of the shadow aide they may have had in their referring school. Progress is measured by independence, self-control and functioning in a larger group.

What also impresses me (reviewing the video) is how little the aides actually do. Really they just stand there making their jobs look easy and planning to be obsolete. No verbal prompts, not much physical maneuvering, no big sticks, no PECS cards, no modeling hand motions, no hand-over-hand.

This is an illusion. The reality is they have worked strenuous, painstaking hours to get to this point. They've established their authority, consistency and expectations elsewhere. By May at the Talent Show, it is their presence alone that reinforces desired actions and appropriate behavior. Tenuous, but certain success.

Jesus was with us for just a little while on earth. He performed miracles and invested arduous hours in sandals teaching on the road. Then it was time for Him to leave. Now, even while He mysteriously lives in our hearts, it is largely dependent on us to tune into His presence. When I enter into His presence, I sense Him behind me, next to me, with me, leading me. That awareness keeps me on my toes behaviorally. Knowing He is close, elevates my thinking and aspirations. He holds me accountable silently without force. Just by being there.

What does being in God's presence mean to you? Would you leave it in a comment....



Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present... 1 Corinthians 5:2-4


For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.
Colossians 2:4-6


God said, "Don't come any closer. Remove your sandals from your feet. You're standing on holy ground." Exodus 3:4-6

In Whose Presence?

It is a well known fact that many variables impact our kids' behavior.  I notice that Reid is very sensitive to people's expectations of him.  With someone who knows his personal best, he does nothing less.  With others, who are just meeting him and may make false assumptions that he is non-verbal or "unable" in some area, he stoops to that lowest denominator and those skills appear dormant. Whether he is believing their lie about him or just taking the easy road when possible, it is confounding to keep him motivated let alone raise the bar to his full potential. 

After a recent appointment with our chiropractor I found myself telling a friend that, "I like who Reid is in his presence."  Well, that sounded vaguely Biblical and dangerously heretical. Good fodder for blogging!  

Dr. Phillips is a fabulous man and skilled practitioner who we've seen once a month for more than two years.  At our last appointment, Reid was in rare form.  He has the doctor's spiel down pat--from the initial greeting at the door (in perfect intonation) to every inquiry in exact sequence as the appointment proceeds.  Thanks to Dr. Phillips' consistency and our repetition of going, Reid has worked out a stageworthy impersonation of this man.

This may be a case where "you had to be there" but let me try to convey our humor, surprise, and delight.  Part of understanding this also requires that you are a bit familiar with muscle checking, applied kinesiology and chiropractic--which could be good thing for what ails ya'.  

Dr. P:  Good Morning Reid!  How are you today?

R:  Good Morning Dr. Phillips! You are the best man in the whole...

Dr. P:  Aw thanks Reid.

Who can help but smile at that kind of affirmation and generous praise? (My husband took a bit of offense that night at the dinner table.  We reminded him that he has the honorable distinction of being the "best dad in the world" and Reid did catch himself before finishing the sentence.)

As Dr. Phillips proceeded the checklist of NET points had a familiar ring to me. To Reid, it was more than just familiar; he knows it verbatim. At his peak attentiveness that day, he anticipated each one. He beat Dr. Phillips to the punch more than once: "conception to birth," "personalized will" (which he mistook for "paralyzed will" which Dr. P had skipped)!  Reid seemed to be vying for his job.

 I love who Reid was in the presence of that man for those 20 minutes. He can enter that office having been vegged out on videos and act like a pill the minute he's back in the car, but for those 20 minutes his power was "on!" I really want everyone who interacts with him to hold that as a new baseline so he can generalize that gregarious, engaged, conversationalist, confident self into other settings! 

As much as the fabulous treatments, I value Dr. Phillips for the role model he is to Reid of a caring, tender, man diligently working in a helping profession, serving his clients with patience, warmth, and intuition.

When Moses descended the mountain after time with God, he had a glow, a radiance, a definite light which all the Israelites noticed.  He reflected the immense glory of our Father in Heaven who would blind us if we but gazed upon Him. Reminds me of the song You Are the Sun by Sara Groves?

You are the sun shining down on everyone

Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can’t be a light unless I turn my face to you

Whose presence brings out the best in you? Have you been in the presence of the Lord lately? Is it apparent to those around you? In His presence, God renews us, changes our name, makes us white as snow, loves us, fills us up with His Spirit, delights in us. He sees us in our completion and fulfillment in Christ. THAT changes our potential!

...whenever Moses entered the LORD's presence to speak with him...they saw that his face was radiant.  Exodus 34:34-35

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" 

Exodus 33:14-15

photo credits: switchedonliving.com, blandingchiropractic.com