Gravitational Insecurity

None of these authors have it! (Though I'd wager each one could define it. They are that vicariously in tune with their kids on the spectrum.)

An anthology of perspectives on parenting, titled Gravity Pulls You In, is hot off the press. Having spent an hour on their website, I have reconnected with some bloggers I'd lost track of, gotten to know my neighbor a bit better, and met a couple new kindred spirits.

As I read the excerpts from editor, Kyra Anderson's Preface, I am flooded with camaraderie and ready to be deserted on a desert island with any of the contributors. She explains the title:

In my cartoon imaginings, I saw us sticking out sideways or hanging upside down like St. Exupery’s Little Prince...

“Gravity, Mom,” he answered for us both. And then he thought for a while. “I have an idea! Gravity doesn’t really pull you down, it pulls you in. So, if you were upside down, it wouldn’t pull you away from the earth, it would pull you in,

toward the earth, toward its center!”

Huh. Gravity pulls you in.

He’s right. It does pull you in, not just to the center of the earth but to the center of yourself, if you let it. Things that are weighty, things that demand a closer look, a new approach, a shift in perspective, those things pull you in. Even when you are spinning, even when you are moving much more quickly than you thought was possible, even when you find yourself in territory where instincts alone don’t feel like enough to complete the revolution.

The circumference of the earth at the equator is about 25,000 miles. Every twenty-four hours, the earth travels 25,000 miles around itself through space. That means we’re going more than 1,000 miles per hour. That’s fast.

And we’re not falling off.

It's centrifugal! Like the roller coaster on the cover art...and that I've mentioned previously here.

Funny how same reference is made in the opening of the movie, Adam.

My favorite children's book is about a little prince who came to earth from a distant asteroid.

He meets a pilot whose plane has crashed in the desert. The Little Prince teaches the pilot many things but, mainly about love.

My father always told me I was like the little prince but, after I met Adam I realized I was the pilot all along.

Here is to the continued journey of love and learning from our kids and other parents in the same boat!

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3-8

What's a Wordle?

Designed by Jonathon Feinberg, a wordle is a computer generated collage of text made instantly at the wordle.net site. Here is one made from the text of my blog. A fun toy for the hyperlexic ; try it with our kids or by yourself! It could be typing practice, thank you note writing, scripture memory experiment and a productive stim all at once. The possibilities are endless.

Reid is smitten with writing lists right now--lists of his favorite movies, lists of Saturday's events, lists of book authors, lists of Barney episodes. Wonder if wordle.net on his dock would be as compelling as Youtube?

When he was first diagnosed by a doctor in Berkeley, she told us in her gracious, holistic, bohemian way, "This is a kid who who loves words. Loves the sound of them falling off his tongue and the look of them on a page." I appreciated her child-centered approach and the fact that she did not read us DSMV codes and dire prognoses but rather observed Reid keenly looking for his uniqueness and celebrating him with us--at least for a few minutes. Those minutes were a gift, like sitting with a painter to hear him describe the inspiration of a piece de resistance.

Later, in actual fact, she passed us off to an associate who had done the battery of pragmatic tests and delivered the obligatory, more doomsday recommendations and findings. It is hard to forget--but I won't repeat--certain phrases she put in her report. Good thing I have trained myself to focus on whatever is praiseworthy and upright! Philippians 4:8 has been prophetic ever since we chose it as a wedding verse. Twenty one years later, I see how God knew Jim and I would need to apply it many times over in our life together.

Words!

"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phillippians 4:8

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless.” Psalm 18:30

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. Matthew 24:35

Two True Love Stories

What could be better than a true story? Two true stories, intertwined with a third.

When the movie Julie & Julia came out I puzzled over how to justify a blog about it--off topic again! Lo and behold, it's emerged.

The film had me so jazzed! I had already devoured the original source material--My Life in France and Julia and Julia, the book. Blogging author, Julie Powell, is my hero. I love food, France, writing, the ambition of both these women, and butter.

I love that by pursuing their bliss, they both arrived at national recognition. I love their bawdy gusto and sense of humor. I love that their husbands were supportive and pushed them to greatness. I love the larger-than-life humanity they both exemplify--living in Queens or mis-flipping omelettes. Most of all, like them, I love to eat!!

I love that Julia is a near amazon with feet bigger than my size 11's. I admire her obsessive attention to detail; identify with her wanderlust, self-deprecating humor, and moxie.

As a fanatic, I watched Julia's oral history on Youtube recalling her years in Paris. With exemplary pluck, she sums it all up: "I find that if people aren't interested in food, I'm not very much interested in them...they seem to lack something in the way of personality...that side...that gustatory pleasure syndrome is lacking."

What is it that separates friends from kindred spirits? It must be a shared passion. Autism is a passion and I have others: food, faith, art, writing, books. When I meet a friend who shares more than one of those it is kismet. Having a friend who shares all of them is nirvana for we can eat, talk and pray with fervor. Pursuing a special interest is important to neurotypicals and aspies alike. Thus, the musical mentorships we will offer through Banding Together.

Like a mother adjusting her own oxygen mask first in the event of an in-flight emergency, I dragged my kids with me to the opening day matinee back on August 7. Allie reminds me she was had a slight fever. Five minutes into it, Reid started squirming, "is it almost over?" to which I parroted, "here comes a good part..." Fortunately (since I was not leaving), the onion chopping scene hooked him in and he is now an avid fan also. We've rented the original French Chef episodes on WGBH from Netflix. His gustatory sense is re-invigorated as is the life skills training going on in our kitchen. I already know what he's getting me for Christmas:)

Can I just say, I love this kid! I love his impersonations, his perfect pitch, the accuracy of his dropping the lower lip. I love that he loves food. I love his lack of inhibition. I love him more than Julia Child and Julie Powell put together! He is my special interest.

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. Genesis 1:28-30

And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Mark 1:10-12

We have examined this, and it is true. So hear it and apply it to yourself. Job 5:26-27

How Do You Do It (with a smile)? Entry 3

Today's guest post is from my soul sister across the miles, Jeneil Russell.

She sets her sights on a word from the Lord in every single challenge from seizures to allergies to deployments. Then she crafts an eloquent, faith-building illustration in her blog, Rhema's Hope. Her site is a deep mine of treasures including a video about her family, a tribute to her husband's military service, the power in a name, and the utter joy of raising two beautiful daughters.

We got to meet face to face when I flew through Logan last month. I know exactly how Julia Child felt at the train station meeting Avis DeVoto, her inimitable pen pal of 7 years. Have you seen Julie & Julia yet? Go...

When I grow up, I want to be like Jeneil. Add her to your RSS!


How do you do it with a smile?

Well, there is no choice but to do it.

The sleepless nights, the endless hours of speech, OT, and ABA therapy, the doctor appointments, the IEP meetings, the seizures, the tantrums, the medications, the daily care, the special diets, the highs and lows… we do the life of autism every day.

God has fearfully and wonderfully made a beautiful, precious child and entrusted her to me. (That fact alone still amazes me). And she had my heart the moment I knew she was growing inside me. Love for her has always compelled me.

So I do it because I can’t not do it.

But to do it with a smile is something altogether different.

I smile. Because the God who created her loves her more than I ever could. I believe that He has a wonderful purpose and plan for her life. (Jer. 29:11). I believe that this is just a journey and one day she will be healed in total (if not on earth, in heaven) – seizure-free, senses a-righted, she will speak and understand and sing.

I smile. Because God is writing a story that is just too good. I couldn’t have come up with something better if I tried. The way her little mind works, the way she sees the world… it’s great material for smiles and laughter. Like when she thinks the toilet plunger is a large hat, or when she jumps out of the local pool soaking wet and hugs a lounging sunbather, or when she’s overcome with giggles for a reason unknown to us.

I smile. Because this life could have crushed us, but God has sustained us and re-made us. Everyday He speaks to us and teaches us, through a child without words.

The concerns for her future are there, always there. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. But as His perfect plan unfolds, my face cannot help but break into a big, joyful, grateful smile.

How Do You Do It (with a smile)? Entry 2

Today's guest post is from Lydia who writes Autistic Speaks. She is a brave and articulate young woman who writes honestly about her experience. I gain huge perspective on my son's reality by reading Lydia's blog. Very often, she puts words to the sensory issues for which he seems to only have behavior. Her explanations catch me in my tracks just before I run out of compassion.

Ironically, the tiger on her banner looks just like another one in the Brookfield Zoo. I have a snapshot (somewhere, pre-digital) of Reid at age 3 busting a gut in front of the glass enclosing "Shere Kahn." How do you explain that sense of humor, Lydia?


I have never raised a child with special needs; I have never even
raised a child. I have, however, spent every day of the past 21 years
affected by autism- not in a sibling, a friend, or even a parent- but in
myself. It must take an unending supply of understanding, patience, and
hope to live with and to love a child with special needs. If it weren't for
being understanding, patient, and hopeful, and if those who love me weren't
the same, then autism would get the better of me.

First, I have come to understand what autism means and how it
affects me. I now know that autism is a neurological condition. Thus,
perceptive differences occur at the most basic biological level; autism is
not psychological nor is it something that I have chosen. I have to accept
that the way I learn about the world around me is different. I can not
control whether or not I have autism, however, I can control the smaller
pieces of the puzzle, such as whether I allow my frustration to build or try
to find my words and say, "I feel frustrated."

Second, I am learning to be patient with my differences. When I go on vacation, my packing list includes sensory toys, a chewy tube, cat pictures, ear plugs, and wrist
weights; all things that most young adults do not even consider in their
daily lives. I want to be "normal," like most 21 year olds; whatever that
entails, because I must admit, I do not know. Whatever it is, I would take
it. But I am trying to learn to be patient and accept myself, autism, ear
plugs, and all.

Finally, I will never give up hope for the future. I don't
expect the future to be, in any way, "autism free," but I hope that I will
continue to learn about autism as my family, friends, and medical
professionals do. I hope that, over time, life becomes easier both for
those with autism and for those who are in any way affected by it. I hope
that, no matter what turns my life takes, autism will never hold my back
from being happy.

The next time you see a family member struggling with a small child,
please put yourself in that parent's place. Others frequently remind me to
be understanding, patient, and hopeful with myself and my own behavior when
it is trying. So, the next time you see a teenager or young adult with
autism acting out while in public, please try to realize how much effort
that person is exerting to hold it together. Try to understand how hard it
is in that moment; try to be patient with the current challenging behavior;
and always be hopeful that the future holds something brighter.

- Lydia

How Do You Do It (with a smile)? Entry 1

House guests and guest posts go together like ice and coffee this time of year.

My 25 year old niece has been here in San Diego visiting, job hunting, and sleeping on our sofa. She is the most tolerant, patient, and enthusiastic house guest I've ever known with a foodie's appetite for fun! I can't decide who enjoys her more, Allie or me! She is part big sister, part little sister, part best friend, part cousin, and totally game. We are having so much fun, I forgot to blog.

As I confessed to Allie this afternoon, we really must get back into our routine. She blasted back, "what routine!" Between China, Nantucket, Reid's extended school year, and Kat's visit, we can't even recall what "normal" was around here. So, while I try to recreate that, you can read the fabulous Essay contributions I received from readers in answer to the question, "How Do You Do It (with a smile)?

The first was submitted by Casdok, who is a single parent of a 20 year old young man with autism. She keeps two blogs: Mother of Shrek and Faces of Autism to which you can submit your own photos. The result is a lovely and inspiring archive of diversity showcasing talent and beauty.


So how do I do it with a smile?

By loving enough.

Casdok

Contribute an Essay

"How do you do it?"

Have you been asked that question?

Many of us are accustomed to fielding the question, "How do you do it?" either from long-time friends in prayer or innocent bystanders in line at the pharmacy, in a clinic waiting room, after an IEP meeting, on the church patio or at a school assembly.

As many times as I've heard it, I have not formulated a very succinct response. Most often I stammer in a mixed emotional stew of flattery, embarrassment, pressure and humility. So much depends on who's asking. What is there interest? Do they have time for the answer? Is it personally relevant? Inquiring for a relative on the spectrum? Or are they just as tongue-tied in shock, dismay, and pity? Is it something nice to say when "Your kids are so well behaved" doesn't apply? A euphemistic alternative to, "what a little terror" or "what's up with your hair?"

What if we told them? What if some joyful moms like my fellow bloggers and friends at the Autism File photo shoot gave words to what's behind those beaming smiles? What if we printed your 500 words or less answers and distributed them to people who want to know? People who are in the same boat and need a paddle.

Here's your chance. Consider this a Request for Essay Submissions answering the question: "How do you do it (with a smile)?"

I will post selected entries here as guest posts. I will also choose 10 of the responses at a time and compile them into a simple, handmade book for distribution (5x7 staple bound).

Think of it as an over-sized, special interest tract that we will distribute at our fall Concert of Prayer, the Walk Now for Autism event in San Diego, and around town to those who ask!

If your essay is selected, you will receive a supply of booklets to distribute in your town at church, school, support group...and local pharmacy!! I also plan to make them available to Joni and Friends, The Gray Center and Future Horizons.

I better get busy on my response...and can't wait to read yours. NPR's This I Believe site offers some good essay writing tips. Feel free to forward this link to other moms, dads, or full-time caregivers you know who have a witness and like to write.


Contribute an Essay

How do you do it with a smile?

"It" = raise a child with special needs

500 words or less

Deadline: July 31

Please submit entries to andreamoriarty@mac.com.


Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. Joel 1:2-4


Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect 1 Peter 3:14-16


Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:30-31


photo credits: comecleanclothing.com, www.loc.gov/exhibits/religion/f0709s.jpg

Miss Andrea Celebrates her 100th Post!

I am a sucker for kinesthetic edu-tainment. When we homeschooled, my daughter's friends affectionately called me "Miss Frizzle." (Could it be, the hair?) I implored them to paint circus posters a la Mirette on the High Wire, parade down the street like the Ox-Cart Man, boastfully sell their "Best in the 5 cent World Salsa" cum Slappy Hooper and countless other activities from my favorite curriculum ever, Five in a Row. Mixing literature and life is a passion.


No surprise, I want to celebrate my 100th post! It marks a milestone; a critical mass of writing for what I hope will be a "blook" one day. I am half tempted to have a party with friends who would sort 100 blocks with me into batches of 10, do 100 sit-ups, drink lemonade with 100 ice cubes and 100 cherries, or some such thematic antic the likes of which Miss Bindergarten and I dream at night.

My kids are growing up though and if I expect them to ban the baby stuff, then so must I. Convinced by my old friend and new Doctor of Divinity, Kathy Dwyer, I decided to mark the occasion with a new Autism Unplugged banner! I'll thank my biggest supporter (and husband) 100 times for designing it and knowing html. And, in hopes of getting 100 responses, I'm announcing an Essay Contest tomorrow!

Celebrating serves an important function. I learned this in the educational realm at a Brain Gym conference years ago. They refer to it as "anchoring a skill;" maybe the Biblical term is "putting a marker" or an ebenezer here. Whatever you call it and however you do it, by all means celebrate! Naming the accomplishment or significant progress in any area of development has the power to reinforce and ensure that it happens again.

When Reid mastered riding a 2-wheeler bike (at age 10), we went out to dinner and cheered. When Allie wanted to be baptized, we designed invitations and engraved frames. For our 10th anniversary we went to Kauai. For our 20th, we went to Vegas (don't ask). When The Kingsmen had a successful gig, we threw a karaoke party.

Anchoring the Brain Gym way is like hitting a reset button in the brain and body. It can raise the bar on expectations and set a new threshold. Marking even minor steps in the right direction are cause for celebration: going a week without caffeine; selling 1 of the 100 rummage items in the garage; making a dreaded appointment with a doctor; speaking up in class.


Two years ago on Mother's Day's, Jim presented me with my first Apple MacBook on a wing and a prayer that I'd use it. Second only to the cross-country skis he gave me when we were newlyweds, this has been my favorite gift from him. It represented his belief in me and came with a hopeful expectation for my future. It was as much a vote of confidence as anything. By giving me a laptop, Jim was seeing in me a writer and calling out a future vocation. He was also giving me a nudge.

I have found a voice, entered a discipline of writing, and am plodding toward my end goal of having a book length story to tell. The unexpected perk, which actually Jim predicted too, is connecting with a new group of blogging buddies who span the world yet know no boundaries. Friends you can look up at all hours of the night to gab on topics not often broached in my regular social circle. Worth celebrating? I say so and I say now.


What new skill can you anchor at your house? How will you celebrate?

Let me know in a comment.


So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top. Genesis 28:18


Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:10-12

Do What I Do

As I write, a finish carpenter is here building a handrail for our staircase. We have been living under the radar with a sub-code, high-risk staircase for several years. Point being, he's chatty and we got to talking about how there is currently a dearth of young people (at least in San Diego) willing to learn the trades. How is that done? Most often through apprenticeship. He has a young man shadowing him and is hopeful he'll stick it out and become one of the few, the proud, the master craftsmen!

Before being subject to extensive intervention and brainwashing about autism, we parented the way our parents parented us. It is natural to repeat the familiar. In reality, we apprentice our kids in their prayer life, faith disciplines, hygiene habits, driving practices, and eating preferences. We lead by example whether intentionally or by accident. My kids haven't had any sugar this week, because I do their shopping and I am abstaining from the unholy trinity of sugar, alcohol, and dairy this month. Are they upset? I don't think they've even noticed. How easily they adapt from our formerly frequent trips to Golden Spoon and Panera. My example (in this case, positive) becomes their familiar.

After his recent baptism, Reid was introduced with the New Member class at church. This involved walking up onto the dais with a group and being prayed for by two pastors. Reid loves to be in the limelight but was also appropriately nervous to do this "correctly." Anticipating the cue and blushing brightly, he stood behind the organ as the pastor made the invitation. Then in the bat of an eye, he scampered across the distance of the chancel to reach the other pastor who seemed more available (accurately reading his body language). Once there, they stood arm in arm in poignant solidarity. Since I was intentionally not assisting and letting Reid take this step independently, I was grateful for that pastor's presence, finesse and intuition.  He served as a literal and figurative anchor to which Reid could cling.

Now physically linked Reid, the senior pastor took the mic to pray aloud. He invited the congregation to raise a hand of blessing toward these new members. Well, bear in mind, Reid is in a weekly pattern for the last 3 years of listening intently and studying this man's preaching and leading style. He tracks him in the church bulletin, noticing who is responsible for the "Worship Focus," "Life Together," and "Prayer of Confession." As a result, those few moments of "being" the Senior Pastor thrilled Reid. He did what Mike did, raised a hand and mouthed the words along with him in a prayer welcoming new members. So much for Theory of Mind or pronoun comprehension or whatever it is that the other new members had which informed them to just bow their collective heads, keep their hands at their sides and receive the blessing! No harm done, Reid is a pastor wannabe! He is blessed.  AND he blesses other people ALL the time.

Another example of powerful role modeling is Peter Reynolds. As founder of Fable Vision, he has produced major media including all many of our favorite (albeit banned) pbskids shows as well as the some clever short films. A big kid himself, he travels to inspire schoolchildren with his true love of writing. He models storytelling, thinking creatively, and exhorts teachers to do the same-not to assign writing but to write and let the kids copy them. He does what he wants kids to do!



Even more on topic, check out this group in Toronto. Keys to the Studio, has paired professional musicians with students on the autism spectrum to experience and create music together. The podcast on their site is worth listening to, to hear their inspiration and mission to focus on commonalities, growth and doing one's personal best. In essence, they have created functional apprenticeships for young people who want to pursue music professionally. Gotta love it!



But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. James 1:21-23

You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 11:18-20

Now the boy Samuel was growing in stature and in favor both with the LORD and with men. 1 Samuel 2:25-27

photo credit:  www.davidblackonline.com, www.farm4flickr.com

Little Timmy Page Grows Up

Where have I been that I just learned about Tim Page, a Pulitzer-winning music critic who was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult? This clip of him as a boy is a rarity. Who knew what path his life would take when it was filmed? The full-length film can be ordered here from The Hoffman Collection.

This brief NPR interview with him references the article, Parallel Play, that he wrote for The New Yorker about his childhood. Both will endear him to you.

I am glad his early obsessions of filmmaking, music, and words were seeds of greatness that grew. Through them, he has arrived at a prominent place in society. For our kids, he role models the awkwardness and hard work it takes to figure out social skills. To educators, he is a crucial example of how genius and disability can, and do coexist. Both need to be instructed. I wish I could attribute a methodology which has always stuck with me: We need to teach to the strength and remediate the weakness. After all, what is so horrible about having a good memory, attention to detail, and being obsessed with music?

I love the way Page writes. He is competent, inspirational, honest and practical. The fact that he shares some nitty gritty detail gives me hope for Reid.

"Were other “geniuses” so oblivious that they couldn’t easily tell right from left and idly wet their pants into adolescence? What accounted for my rages and frustrations, for the imperious contempt I showed to people who were in a position to do me harm?"

In the radio interview he recalls how he "flunked and flunked for many years" all while educating himself on subjects that interested him. He made an independent study of etiquette and was relieved to learn the intellectual reasons behind our countless social customs. I can't help notice how often he uses the word "explain." Nightly, at tuck in time Reid says to me (even calls me back into his room if he forgets), "Mom, explain about tomorrow." It helps him so much to know what's on the agenda in advance. The word "explain" haunts me a bit. A simple request that makes a world of difference in compliance, comprehension, and trust.

I was going to say, "Tim, we want a biography!" but in researching this I learned he is already writing one, to be released in 2009 by Doubleday. Yay!

In the meantime, I think I'll pull out my antique copy of Emily Post to read with Reid tonight.




Peter said to Him, "Explain the parable to us." Matthew 15:14-16


I beg you to listen to me patiently...especially because you are an expert in all customs and questions among the Jews. Acts 26:2-4


"Come now, and let us reason together,"Says the LORD," Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow. Isaiah 1:17-19


photo credit: www.usc.edu/.../faculty/photos/ellispag.jpg

A Friend In Deed

I have been reading Tim McGinnis' StrengthsFinder blog and happened upon this Trombone Player Wanted film series. Marcus Buckingham creatively makes his point with a boy in the school band who is a natural percussionist but has been told to play trombone. Let this whet your appetite.




If kids instinctively know their strengths, then our role as parents is to enhance their pursuit of them. It may save their lives either literally or figuratively (keep reading about Nathaniel Ayers). Kids with autism, and reams of paperwork outlining their deficits (otherwise known as IEP's) and obstacles stacked against them, desperately need our support to affirm and articulate their strengths. Arguably, it will cost them more than the "normal" population to be settle for mediocrity or be misguided.

In an odd coincidence, another performance at the Walt Disney Performing Arts Center is pivotal in Steve Lopez' true story, The Soloist. His arduous friendship with a destitute homeless man moves him from being marginalized to heroic. Lopez unlocks this man's potential using his obsession with music as the key. I'll show you this trailer if you promise to read the book first.



John Donne said, no man is an island. As an introvert, I sometimes prefer being alone. During stressors in my life, including Reid's diagnosis, my tendency is to pull inward, resign, recoil, resist. (Recall the funny scene in Father of the Bride with Steve Martin and the guard dogs?) That retreat only serves me so long. After a certain point, it is not beneficial to be alone. I need others to pull me out of my own quandry and keep me moving. So, it is easy to understand how Nathaniel Ayers, after his mother's death, basically lost his marbles.

When I see homeless people, I almost always think of the words of John Bradford (and my grandmother) who said, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." Knowing all the pieces that fit together for Reid to appear and behave as a functioning member of society, I can quickly imagine him (or any of us) in their shoes were the scaffolding to come down. What would it take for your life to come apart at the seams? A couple of "biggies"--loss of a job, the economy failing, death of a provider, hurricane, illness, a move--and any of us could be on the street needing a friend like Steve Lopez.



A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:16-18


Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him. Proverbs 19:3-5


A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:23-24


The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp... Exodus 33:10-12

Blazing a Trail to College

More and more articles are appearing about special needs students bound for college including this article from the Wall Street Journal front page. Patricia E. Bauer hasn't missed a one on her site. NPR has several broadcasts in the last week about Roger Diehl at my alma mater, University of Wisconsin-Madison, including a Q/A from callers with similar ambitions and many practical resources.

Josh Muggleton, a young man with autism, is sharing his college experience at St. Andrews in the UK online here at Yeardot. The book Aquamarine Blue 5 edited by Dawn Prince Hughes includes personal stories of many college students with autism. My hat is off to these trailblazing writers who will change the future on two levels. First, with their courage to do something relatively unprecedented and second, with their willingness to be vulnerable and document it for the benefit of those who follow.

Have you ever thought where we would be without the Bible? Those who wrote it had free will like us, and could either have followed God's call or chosen their own. Fortunately for all who came after, they chose to document the life of Christ and the experiences of His chosen people in the Old Testament and the unending mercy of God our Father. They did this all without Microsoft or Apple, internet or telegraph! Painstakingly and unmistakably, they shaped the experience of all of history. Now we are accountable to what has been written.

They raised the bar.

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness... 2 Timothy 3:15-17

Go now, write it on a tablet for them, inscribe it on a scroll, that for the days to come it may be an everlasting witness. Isaiah 30:7-9

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. Joel 1:2-4

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:10-12

photo credit: www.bouquetproductions.com, http://cims.hispanictips.com/uploads/2008/06/college.jpg

It's Like This....

Kristina Chew at Autism Vox shares several poems by author and autism mom, Barbara Crooker. One of her most recent poems in the book Line Dance, entitled Simile, reminds me of one of Reid's all time favorite board books, Quick as a Cricket. It is one of a scant hundred we are scheming to present to Little Guy Wood, Carla's baby boy arriving in December. The catch is, Reid still loves them so much he absconds with the new copies as fast as I can hide or wrap them. He is futiley trying to convince me to give his ripped, stained, and cherished original copies to the baby, who "can't read yet anyway." He's got a point. There are worse obsessions!

Anyway, Audrey Wood's classic was one we used to build an emotional vocabulary of adjectives when Reid was younger. He still fancies the metaphors and visual imagery that depict moods including, "shy as a snail," "large as a whale," and "tame as a poodle." Have you seen the PowerPoint image Temple Grandin uses to convey her childhood sensory experience with toilet paper? Scratchy as sandpaper. I couldn't find it online but here is a similar representation. Similes are quite effective. Barbara Crooker's son coined the phrase, "mad as a tea kettle" which is vividly descriptive despite his teacher's redlining it.

Simile
My son showed me his paper from remedial
English; he was supposed to fill in the blanks.
Cool as a __________.
Smooth as a __________. Neat as a _____.

He came up with: angry as a teakettle
and when I asked, “Why?” said,
“Because it was boiling mad.” Of course,
it was marked wrong, one more red mark
in his life’s long test.

When I called from Virginia to ask him
what he did last weekend,
he said, “We bought Italian salad dressing.”

Last fall we went to a Broadway
play; what he liked the most
were traffic lights and Don’t Walk signs.

Of, my little pork chop, my sweet potato,
my tender tot. You have made me pay attention
to the world’s smallest minutia. My pea-shaped heart,
red as a stop sign, fills with
the helium of tenderness, thinks it might burst.

from Line Dance (Word Press 2008) by Barbara Crooker

God's Word is full of similes. Spiritual concepts are the hardest ones for us to grasp whether we are autistic or neuro-typical or gifted. Scripture comes the closest to conveying the abstractions of God, His heaven, and His immense love for us since it is, in itself, God-breathed through the Holy Spirit exclusively for our limited, finite, and human understanding. The Lord has done His part by putting it into our language and our individual learning style with factual accounts, visuals, parables, timelines, and even poetry.



Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants. Deuteronomy 32:1-3

Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow. Psalm 144:3-5

For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. Psalm 90:3-5

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Proverbs 25:10-12

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day
Proverbs 27:14-16

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:11-13

photo credit: 5x6csa.com

All Roads Lead to Writing

When every song on my ipod, every artist I select, every sermon outline fill-in-the-blank, every instruction I am given (even my kids' devotionals) compel me with another idea to post, it must be a sign. Get back to blogging!

The summer was long. My daughter switched to a new high school giving her 3 full months and an overdose of vacation and staycation. We had a trip to the east coast that afforded great family memories afterward but, in the moment was stress-filled requiring a double dose of attitude adjustment. Reid had the month of August off with no school routine to keep us plugged in. Need I say more? Whether or not you noticed, I have unknowingly kicked the habit of daily posting.

I'm back in the saddle though, as of now! I've been stashing notes in a book stand on my kitchen counter. It is jammed with experiences to process from the summer each on their own little slip of paper or in the margin of a church program. It is motivating to think I will not run out of material but rather have a storehouse of observations to unload. In her book, Writing to Change the World, which I absolutely love (I don't think there is a page I have NOT dogeared), Mary Pipher encourages writers to go ahead and say it, "I'm a writer." Often, we are the ones with the introverted temperament who procrastinate and need a push to take the little leap of faith to dive in and commit to that as a professional title. That is me.

The longer I avoid writing, the more slips of paper accumulate. What's even more annoying, more and more mundane events beckon me back to the keyboard. Listening to instrumental music walking the dog, I can't help myself from composing illustrations about life and autism. Metaphors are cutting me off in traffic on the freeway of my mind. At my piano lesson, my substitute teacher (not even Angela) explained how I might improve my phrasing on Ecossaise in C by Beethoven. Without realizing it, her words were a metaphor for my month with Reid at home 24/7. I give him instructions in pianissimo then repeat them in a crescendo with only slight variation again until it is forte. Then I back off in resignation before the D.C. al fine as if to replay the request. I didn't have to think too long to implement her suggestion that I envision a storyline while I play. It all comes back to autism. My life has become a spiritual journey through (not to) autism. You may think, autism, schmatism. (That's another great blog name that's been taken.) I say, it's all good!



What do all your roads lead to? A new house...an obvious mate...the decision to adopt...persistent nudges to a certain project....to say "no" to something...

Could this be one of the ways God speaks to us? Like the insistent prayer of the widow in Luke 18, maybe His Holy Spirit is modeling prayer for us prodding and poking, divinely texting and twittering us with reminders to complete the plans he has for us.


"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' " Luke 18:4-5


"We write this to make our joy complete." 1 John 1:3-5


"Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me." Psalm 31:2-4