Kick me!

Who doesn't need a kick in the pants every once in awhile? I got mine--affectionately--from Kelly Langston, my Facebook friend, fellow blogger and author of Autism's Hidden Blessings.

Here is her Authenticity Challenge: to find 12 Christian bloggers who will commit to get real and post everyday from January 25th to February 8th about how your faith helped you deal with a situation. Yikes! that's 2 weeks; I thought it was one when I enthusiastically replied, "I'm in!"

I need Kelly to move next door, call to me from over the hedge, "get writing you sluggard," and reward me with coffee cake when I click "publish post."

Today's an easy one, for yesterday Reid threw my iPhone onto our hard, unforgiving, slate floor when I held firm to my "no, you may not have it now."

If you've been reading long, you know I am practiced at self-control, anger management, and taking deep breaths. Sometimes I snap, but this time, I benefitted from the years of preparation. Having witnessed a shocking number of broken electronics, remotes, speakers, dvd players, ipods, even laptops in the past, made it relatively easy to remain calm. Practice makes perfect.

In the heat of any crisis, if I can call up a verse, glimpse a lesson God might be teaching me, catch an illustration to blog about alter, or fathom some eternal purpose to it, then I am willing to endure it. The more I am able to do this, the sooner I can almost embrace it as character building. For in short order, the Bible promises we and all our stuff will return to dust. Our spirits will be reunited with the Creator for eternity as He originally intended. So, this is all just one short, sometimes miserable, sometimes fun, camping trip anyway.

The verse that coursed through my veins as I surveyed the broken glass and screen gone white was, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

So, silently, sooo silently, I thank God for that truth. In doing so, I was reminded that my relationship with Reid is more valuable than any gadget. The perseverance and self-control I develop are what God cares about. The opportunities to model this and teach Reid respect for property far outweigh the actual property itself. Reid is the treasure who'll be with me in heaven. No thief can steal the character or hope that we amass on this journey through autism.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:1-4

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5: 3-5

To be authentic, I will say it put a damper on the day. We missed our usual morning church and trudged along until deciding we needed to get our praise on at the last ditch 6:45 PM alternative. Not knowing if the phone was repairable or what it would cost, placed us on hold as much as when the electricity had gone out a couple nights before. Worship plugged us back into the power source. It is like magic and clockwork every time I need an attitude adjustment.

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:6-8

So that you can experience some of the character developing patience of which I speak, (and because the bus is about to arrive) (and because I need to post again tomorrow) I will pause it there...

Top 10 Tuesday

Kat's Top 10 Cooking Tips

10. Drizzle toasted sesame oil as a finishing oil over cooked vegetables

9. Crunchy stuff breakfast bowl: granola, yogurt, peanut butter, chopped fruit, a glob of each

8. Chopped shallots with tomatoes, lemon and herbs make a healthy homemade dressing sans oil

7. Pouch cook chicken or fish (no clean up, no oil, all-in-one succulent meal)

6. Overnight oatmeal

5. Anything goes in a salad

4. Sangria for the beach (load chopped fruit into a cheap boxed wine the night before and go!)

3. When in doubt, brine it

2. Read Laura Hall's blog: The Good Life

1. Pink Himalayan Sea Salt everything!

You've already heard how invaluable my niece, Kathryn, has made herself since moving in. She brined and cooked our best-ever Thanksgiving turkey so I may just let her repeat that recipe for Christmas. Wanting to share the wealth with you here.

"Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed. Proverbs 9:4-6

Do not leave the salt of the covenant of your God out of your grain offerings; add salt to all your offerings. Leviticus 2:12-14

Two True Love Stories

What could be better than a true story? Two true stories, intertwined with a third.

When the movie Julie & Julia came out I puzzled over how to justify a blog about it--off topic again! Lo and behold, it's emerged.

The film had me so jazzed! I had already devoured the original source material--My Life in France and Julia and Julia, the book. Blogging author, Julie Powell, is my hero. I love food, France, writing, the ambition of both these women, and butter.

I love that by pursuing their bliss, they both arrived at national recognition. I love their bawdy gusto and sense of humor. I love that their husbands were supportive and pushed them to greatness. I love the larger-than-life humanity they both exemplify--living in Queens or mis-flipping omelettes. Most of all, like them, I love to eat!!

I love that Julia is a near amazon with feet bigger than my size 11's. I admire her obsessive attention to detail; identify with her wanderlust, self-deprecating humor, and moxie.

As a fanatic, I watched Julia's oral history on Youtube recalling her years in Paris. With exemplary pluck, she sums it all up: "I find that if people aren't interested in food, I'm not very much interested in them...they seem to lack something in the way of personality...that side...that gustatory pleasure syndrome is lacking."

What is it that separates friends from kindred spirits? It must be a shared passion. Autism is a passion and I have others: food, faith, art, writing, books. When I meet a friend who shares more than one of those it is kismet. Having a friend who shares all of them is nirvana for we can eat, talk and pray with fervor. Pursuing a special interest is important to neurotypicals and aspies alike. Thus, the musical mentorships we will offer through Banding Together.

Like a mother adjusting her own oxygen mask first in the event of an in-flight emergency, I dragged my kids with me to the opening day matinee back on August 7. Allie reminds me she was had a slight fever. Five minutes into it, Reid started squirming, "is it almost over?" to which I parroted, "here comes a good part..." Fortunately (since I was not leaving), the onion chopping scene hooked him in and he is now an avid fan also. We've rented the original French Chef episodes on WGBH from Netflix. His gustatory sense is re-invigorated as is the life skills training going on in our kitchen. I already know what he's getting me for Christmas:)

Can I just say, I love this kid! I love his impersonations, his perfect pitch, the accuracy of his dropping the lower lip. I love that he loves food. I love his lack of inhibition. I love him more than Julia Child and Julie Powell put together! He is my special interest.

Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. Genesis 1:28-30

And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Mark 1:10-12

We have examined this, and it is true. So hear it and apply it to yourself. Job 5:26-27

How Do You Do It (with a smile)? Entry 3

Today's guest post is from my soul sister across the miles, Jeneil Russell.

She sets her sights on a word from the Lord in every single challenge from seizures to allergies to deployments. Then she crafts an eloquent, faith-building illustration in her blog, Rhema's Hope. Her site is a deep mine of treasures including a video about her family, a tribute to her husband's military service, the power in a name, and the utter joy of raising two beautiful daughters.

We got to meet face to face when I flew through Logan last month. I know exactly how Julia Child felt at the train station meeting Avis DeVoto, her inimitable pen pal of 7 years. Have you seen Julie & Julia yet? Go...

When I grow up, I want to be like Jeneil. Add her to your RSS!


How do you do it with a smile?

Well, there is no choice but to do it.

The sleepless nights, the endless hours of speech, OT, and ABA therapy, the doctor appointments, the IEP meetings, the seizures, the tantrums, the medications, the daily care, the special diets, the highs and lows… we do the life of autism every day.

God has fearfully and wonderfully made a beautiful, precious child and entrusted her to me. (That fact alone still amazes me). And she had my heart the moment I knew she was growing inside me. Love for her has always compelled me.

So I do it because I can’t not do it.

But to do it with a smile is something altogether different.

I smile. Because the God who created her loves her more than I ever could. I believe that He has a wonderful purpose and plan for her life. (Jer. 29:11). I believe that this is just a journey and one day she will be healed in total (if not on earth, in heaven) – seizure-free, senses a-righted, she will speak and understand and sing.

I smile. Because God is writing a story that is just too good. I couldn’t have come up with something better if I tried. The way her little mind works, the way she sees the world… it’s great material for smiles and laughter. Like when she thinks the toilet plunger is a large hat, or when she jumps out of the local pool soaking wet and hugs a lounging sunbather, or when she’s overcome with giggles for a reason unknown to us.

I smile. Because this life could have crushed us, but God has sustained us and re-made us. Everyday He speaks to us and teaches us, through a child without words.

The concerns for her future are there, always there. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. But as His perfect plan unfolds, my face cannot help but break into a big, joyful, grateful smile.

Contribute an Essay

"How do you do it?"

Have you been asked that question?

Many of us are accustomed to fielding the question, "How do you do it?" either from long-time friends in prayer or innocent bystanders in line at the pharmacy, in a clinic waiting room, after an IEP meeting, on the church patio or at a school assembly.

As many times as I've heard it, I have not formulated a very succinct response. Most often I stammer in a mixed emotional stew of flattery, embarrassment, pressure and humility. So much depends on who's asking. What is there interest? Do they have time for the answer? Is it personally relevant? Inquiring for a relative on the spectrum? Or are they just as tongue-tied in shock, dismay, and pity? Is it something nice to say when "Your kids are so well behaved" doesn't apply? A euphemistic alternative to, "what a little terror" or "what's up with your hair?"

What if we told them? What if some joyful moms like my fellow bloggers and friends at the Autism File photo shoot gave words to what's behind those beaming smiles? What if we printed your 500 words or less answers and distributed them to people who want to know? People who are in the same boat and need a paddle.

Here's your chance. Consider this a Request for Essay Submissions answering the question: "How do you do it (with a smile)?"

I will post selected entries here as guest posts. I will also choose 10 of the responses at a time and compile them into a simple, handmade book for distribution (5x7 staple bound).

Think of it as an over-sized, special interest tract that we will distribute at our fall Concert of Prayer, the Walk Now for Autism event in San Diego, and around town to those who ask!

If your essay is selected, you will receive a supply of booklets to distribute in your town at church, school, support group...and local pharmacy!! I also plan to make them available to Joni and Friends, The Gray Center and Future Horizons.

I better get busy on my response...and can't wait to read yours. NPR's This I Believe site offers some good essay writing tips. Feel free to forward this link to other moms, dads, or full-time caregivers you know who have a witness and like to write.


Contribute an Essay

How do you do it with a smile?

"It" = raise a child with special needs

500 words or less

Deadline: July 31

Please submit entries to andreamoriarty@mac.com.


Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. Joel 1:2-4


Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect 1 Peter 3:14-16


Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:30-31


photo credits: comecleanclothing.com, www.loc.gov/exhibits/religion/f0709s.jpg

Miss Andrea Celebrates her 100th Post!

I am a sucker for kinesthetic edu-tainment. When we homeschooled, my daughter's friends affectionately called me "Miss Frizzle." (Could it be, the hair?) I implored them to paint circus posters a la Mirette on the High Wire, parade down the street like the Ox-Cart Man, boastfully sell their "Best in the 5 cent World Salsa" cum Slappy Hooper and countless other activities from my favorite curriculum ever, Five in a Row. Mixing literature and life is a passion.


No surprise, I want to celebrate my 100th post! It marks a milestone; a critical mass of writing for what I hope will be a "blook" one day. I am half tempted to have a party with friends who would sort 100 blocks with me into batches of 10, do 100 sit-ups, drink lemonade with 100 ice cubes and 100 cherries, or some such thematic antic the likes of which Miss Bindergarten and I dream at night.

My kids are growing up though and if I expect them to ban the baby stuff, then so must I. Convinced by my old friend and new Doctor of Divinity, Kathy Dwyer, I decided to mark the occasion with a new Autism Unplugged banner! I'll thank my biggest supporter (and husband) 100 times for designing it and knowing html. And, in hopes of getting 100 responses, I'm announcing an Essay Contest tomorrow!

Celebrating serves an important function. I learned this in the educational realm at a Brain Gym conference years ago. They refer to it as "anchoring a skill;" maybe the Biblical term is "putting a marker" or an ebenezer here. Whatever you call it and however you do it, by all means celebrate! Naming the accomplishment or significant progress in any area of development has the power to reinforce and ensure that it happens again.

When Reid mastered riding a 2-wheeler bike (at age 10), we went out to dinner and cheered. When Allie wanted to be baptized, we designed invitations and engraved frames. For our 10th anniversary we went to Kauai. For our 20th, we went to Vegas (don't ask). When The Kingsmen had a successful gig, we threw a karaoke party.

Anchoring the Brain Gym way is like hitting a reset button in the brain and body. It can raise the bar on expectations and set a new threshold. Marking even minor steps in the right direction are cause for celebration: going a week without caffeine; selling 1 of the 100 rummage items in the garage; making a dreaded appointment with a doctor; speaking up in class.


Two years ago on Mother's Day's, Jim presented me with my first Apple MacBook on a wing and a prayer that I'd use it. Second only to the cross-country skis he gave me when we were newlyweds, this has been my favorite gift from him. It represented his belief in me and came with a hopeful expectation for my future. It was as much a vote of confidence as anything. By giving me a laptop, Jim was seeing in me a writer and calling out a future vocation. He was also giving me a nudge.

I have found a voice, entered a discipline of writing, and am plodding toward my end goal of having a book length story to tell. The unexpected perk, which actually Jim predicted too, is connecting with a new group of blogging buddies who span the world yet know no boundaries. Friends you can look up at all hours of the night to gab on topics not often broached in my regular social circle. Worth celebrating? I say so and I say now.


What new skill can you anchor at your house? How will you celebrate?

Let me know in a comment.


So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top. Genesis 28:18


Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." 1 Samuel 7:12


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:10-12

God is Incredibly Concise (and could blog)

I was miffed, to be honest, when my Beth Moore junkies wanted to break for the summer. Rats! What about me? How will I function without the accountability of facilitating and hosting the group? (The only time I vacuum is the night before they're due!)

Now I think I understand why. God had something else in mind for me. A summer prayer group based on Alex Aronis' "Developing Intimacy with God: An Eight-week Prayer Guide Based on Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises" caught my eye on the church website. Same day, 8 weeks, fit my time slot like a glove.

So this morning I rekindled an old love of meditative, contemplative, listening, centering prayer. Call it what you will, it frees me from the confines of my own sin, judging, and having the right answers in a Bible study. We sat in silence letting every niggling thought float by in the current of an imaginary river overhead. After 8 minutes or so, the leader led us to listen for God's answer to four questions about our basic wants and needs. Somewhere between those single-word responses came this poem.

While I admire the gift of sparse and succinct communication, I am certain I've not written poetry since 3rd grade! One of my favorite non-autism-genre bloggers is Abraham Piper at 22 Words. Every single day, he poetically conveys content on a myriad of theological and literary points. Each post is 22 words which puts a cool parameter on his design.

Personally, I err on the side of amplification, rephrasing, and overuse of synonyms! How I love words. The only blogger I know with longer posts than mine is Beth Moore herself! Limiting myself to less than 100 words would take either a great deal of discipline or divine intervention.

Today, I had a smidge of both: the discipline to clear away extraneous thoughts and an experience with the one, true, and truly concise, God.

What does this have to do with autism? You decide...or better yet, ask God.

From Still to Know

still

crazy

years

whoa!

woods

silt sinking into bedrock

know

Do you have a summer study?

I beg you to click on "comments" below the scripture.



"Be still, and know, that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:9-11


" 'Your mother was like a vine in your vineyard planted by the water; it was fruitful and full of branches because of abundant water. Ezekiel 19:9-11


Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:24-26

photo credit: www.seentwo.com/.../photo_current_projects.jpg

Face to Face

Casdok, aka Mother of Shrek, has created a new blog. Faces of Autism is an online photo gallery celebrating individuals on the autism spectrum. Check it out and add yourself, your loved one, or look for Reid! He is indeed, impossible to capture in just one photo but the one I picked does lay claim to his gregarious sociability with strangers and exuberant joy. He loves music and loves the Lord, so that day at the House of Blues' Gospel Brunch put him in his element. No qualms at all about posing with those buxom ladies! Or joining them up on stage for that matter--next time.

Casdok's ever positive and constructive outlook reminds me of the verse Jim and I chose 22 years ago as a reading in our wedding. It is the origin of all positive thinking, self-help strategies that have followed.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:7-9

The practice of this verse has followed us through life by necessity. It is both fascinating and faith-building to realize how that has happened. We chose the verse at 20-something, completely naive of what particular trials and tribulations would become our life's journey. As if prophesying the twists and turns that would characterize our future, the verse has become a mantra for the ride. God, not limited by time or space, saw fit to give us confirmation and a comforting sense of destiny as we look in hindsight at what we stood for, signed up for, and in fact, what he had in store for us, as a partnership and then as a family. What we could never have anticipated, He knew. And He found a way to speak it to us through His Word in the present then, just as easily as if He had told us, "This verse will come to define you..." or "You're going to need this one." Or "Listen up, I'll give you a little hint."

Here's another example. When attempting to adopt, Jim and I wrote a sort of resume, as was protocol, about us as potential parents. We sent it to hundreds to make our desire known and hopefully meet potential birthmothers. At the bottom of that letter, we added this hopeful verse: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...to him be glory...for ever and ever!" Ephesians 3:19-21

Well....lo and behold, that verse came true literally, when we matched with a birthmother who was expecting twins! He had indeed, done immeasurably more than we had asked! Our thrill at getting the ultimate twofer--a boy and a girl--fueled an adrenaline rush that lasted at least 48 months. That was way beyond our wildest dreams and more than we would ever have dared to even utter aloud. God must have had a little chuckle, when we were printing those cover letters, knowing as He does, all that has ever come before and will ever come to pass.

Do you have a life verse? Is there a verse that follows you in a good or bad way? If not, claim one and see how God will use it in your life.


My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek. Psalm 27:7-9


Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:11-13


The LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you...Numbers 6:24-26

Tragically Funny

I have just discovered a new blog, Mama on the Edge. Mama Mara is hilarious and gut wrenchingly honest. I laugh until my eyes water at posts like The L Word at our House is Lithium and Anatomy of a Morning. The brutal reality of them convinces me on some days, that I am not alone, and on others, that it could be worse. I'm a little taken aback actually. What is it about tragic comedy that appeals? Is it just me?

Laughter is good medicine, all agree. Mara gives me a channel to tune into for a healthy release. I had a morning like hers where Reid and I were in a total stalemate while the bus honked at the curb. The internal pressure and helplessness of not being able to control his actions--namely, get him dressed and on the bus--has to go somewhere. Better to come out in laughter than in anger. It has been said, and regrettably, I can vouch that the worst kind of violence stems from helplessness. I just don't feel at liberty to express my rawest feelings. Inhibited am I. Mama Mara does it for me. She is an online surrogate where we can all do a little corporate ranting.

Laughter, especially at ourselves, releases us from all sorts of paralysis--pride, control and pure tension. Of course, if we're not laughing then we're crying. And that is way more debilitating and unattractive.

In Chicago, my personal year in the desert, Reid was diagnosed and my husband was gone Monday through Friday on business in San Francisco. Mind you, we had just moved from California for a job that was too good to refuse. In less than a month, he was basically commuting back there by plane, while I remodeled and listened to people ruin my life by speculating what was "wrong" with my precious toddler--out loud in front of my other precious toddler! Go figure. (I'm grateful it was not 40 years.)

I would alternate between crying myself to sleep on the couch and watching Mary Tyler Moore for solace. You get the connection? Picture Mary pitching that blasted package of meat in the proverbial basket. (I know it was a grocery cart.). Her undying optimism couched in cynicism and satire, made me laugh. Everybody sing, "We're gonna make it after all...du do dewt do...dute."

One of my favorite books is about a woman fairly trapped in the 50's with 10 kids, no car, and an alcoholic, abusive husband. Sounds like a masochistic tragedy until you read the book, The Prize Winner from Defiance Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 24 Words or Less. Written by one of the 10 kids, it is the funniest book I've ever, made all the better 'cause it's true! The mom, Evelyn Ryan, is a prototype of modern day mommy bloggers, maybe specifically, autism mommy bloggers. Her creativity, wit, and writing acumen lift her out of impending doom. She cranks out fabulous advertising jingles, enters them in the popular contests of the day and wins! She wins BIG, to the tune of paying off the mortgage and putting kids through college. It is a tragicomedy filled with redemption, love, and hope. As always, the movie doesn't do the book justice.



Is there a tragicomedy in the Bible? Job is tragic but I'm not sure how funny he is. Reading Job makes most of us realize we have it pretty good (no leprosy, multiple family deaths, loss of livelihood). His lifetime of belief offers principles on how to get through the difficulties we all face in life--some for days, others for years at a time. Beyond Job, the Bible is laced with humor, real true grit, and way more hope than Mary Tyler Moore. God still considers David a man after His own heart, despite an affair on his roof and the arranged murder of the woman's husband (2 Samuel 11). Saul is taking a leak in a cave--do we need to know this?--when David cuts apiece of his robe but doesn't kill him as easy bait ( 1 Samuel 24). Sarah laughs in God's face (Genesis 18 ) to learn she is pregnant at age 90! Now, that's tragically funny.



A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:21-23


Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces endurance. James 1:1-3


He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Psalm 113:8-9

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