Stronghold

Do you have theme words in your life? Like a recurrent dream, the word "stronghold" shows up often for me.

First time, I really didn't know what it meant. However, when someone uses that kinda word in prayer over your infant children, you look it up.

Definition of STRONGHOLD

1

: a fortified place

2

a : a place of security or survival b : a place dominated by a particular group or marked by a particular characteristic

Initially, it seemed like some construct the enemy built to bog you down. A stronghold that enemy troops might have over an area.

Over the years through various Bible studies, I have learned that the Lord has strongholds of His own. Way more than the enemy.

Lately, I am learning that the Lord is a stronghold to whom we'd be wise to run to at lightning pace when we want protection. It is a safe refuge where we can be still and watch Him fight for us.

Currently, I am reading The Stronghold of God by Francis Frangipane and we completed this puzzle over Christmas. Oh how I love a good Unit Study with kinesthetic teaching!

Just today as I was walking with my Chris Rice, Peace Like a River cd, this stanza of grabbed me by the ears perhaps since I have tried so long in vain to save my son in my own strength:

Did we in our own strength confide,   

our striving would be losing,   

were not the right man on our side,   

the man of God's own choosing.  

Dost ask who that may be?    

Christ Jesus, it is he;   

Lord Sabaoth, his name,   

from age to age the same,   

and he must win the battle.

Sure enough, as I checked the title...it's "A Mighty Fortress is Our God!" Synonym for stronghold.... "fortress." I love that God loves words.

Although we pridefully refer to autism as a new diagnosis and ourselves as pioneering crusaders in the fight against it, autism is not puzzling to God. Jesus is our Savior and Deliverer from every foe and has been since Martin Luther wrote this in the 1528. He describes the same outcome we seek today when we feel socked in by defeat, fatigue, insurmountable opposition, and unlikely odds. I am enjoying the truth this song proclaims and the instructions of all four stanzas of the lyrics. They deserve a modern rewrite by Eugene Petersen.

The Lord has been Mighty in battle since long before Luther, in the days of Moses, Aaron, and Joshua. Our God is the same, the Holy Spirit the same, our victory comes in Jesus. Only the name of the enemy seems to have changed. Why reinvent the wheel?

I'll include this video too since Chris Rice's is not on YouTube. Here is Christy Nockels of Watermark singing, "You are My Stronghold."

I told you it was a theme. Do you have one?

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-3

God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake...Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us. Psalm 46:1-3 The Message

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Top 10 Tuesday

Top 10 Reasons to use Dignifying Language about those with Autism

(or any disability)

10. We are more alike than different

9. We are all disabled somehow

8. You likely love someone on the spectrum since it affects 1 in 95 children

7. You wouldn't want to offend someone in the room

6. We are all made in God's image

5. The Golden Rule is to love your neighbor as yourself; it's how you'd want to be treated

4. Words change our perception of others

3. People meet the expectations we set for them; your words impact another's identity

2. A person is a person; a soul is a soul

1. You have influence over others

Of course this begs the question: What is dignifying language? Kathie Snow at Disability is Natural has ammassed a wealth of articles here that define people-first language quite well.

John Tomkins work in developing Green Language is also excellent. Exploring his site for a couple minutes makes you mindful of your tongue in new ways. There are many ways to interact with his site, games for kids, and explanations of how our brains react to language and how words lead to behavior. We can all improve on this. And it's a matter of life or death according to the Bible.

Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation." Matthew 12:33-35 The Message

Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit--you choose.

1. Proverbs 18:20-22 The Message

1. 
   

Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

1. Proverbs 15:3-5 The Message

Eyes on the Shepherd

I am not very athletic. I am however, competitive.

One Sunday last spring Allie and I made our way to her Certificate of Merit music test on San Diego State's campus. Not sure of our actual destination, we followed printed directions through a maze of parking complexes. The sight of other parent/child groupings with black music cases assured us we were on the right track.

We parked feeling like tourists in a small town who'd found the locals' only breakfast haunt. It may as well have been Chinatown as we joined the throng, who appeared to know where they were going. It was then that my quiet, prophetic little Allie, uttered another of her truths and birthed the now familial phrase, "Mom, we're "keepin' up with the Asians!"

We guffawed as we realized the truth of it and the multiple meanings. She attends an academically rigorous high school which is ethnically diverse. Their class trip is to China which heightens our awareness and discussions of shifts in world power.

The reality resonates as flute is her primary extracurricular pursuit. Every Saturday in order to participate in both Youth Symphony and a chamber quartet, we must hightail it across town in 15 minutes flat. We aren't the only ones. A classmate of Allie's and her sweet dad, Yubo, do the same.

He is genuinely kind, having offered to carpool, get lunch or anything to be helpful. I don't think he is competitive but as mentioned, I am. I also crave efficiency. (I have a crush on the motion engineer, father of 12, Frank Gilbreth, from Cheaper by the Dozen, the book). And I'm motivated by challenge. Tell me I can't do something and I surely will.

So a tight transition like this thrills me all the more because it coincides with meal time and requires navigational prowess. There lies a freeway between the symphony rehearsal space and the quartet location. First time I drove it, without googlemaps or a GPS, I got all turned around trying to find a surface street that crossed over the 805. We were several minutes late owing to my lack of preparation.

The next week, after discussion with Yubo, I played it safe and took a straight shot to University Avenue then a right on 36th which dead ends into this woman's rental studio. We were on time. What befuddled me is how Yubo is always there before me parked on the shady side of the street, practically with his feet up on the dash, smokin' a stogie, while I am breaking out in a full sweat secretly racing to keep up with him.

This past Saturday, with a tuna sandwich and Snapple to go, I got the Eurovan and pulled into the loading zone a leisurely 15 minutes ahead of dismissal time, and waited. I was relaxed, surveyed a used book sale on the lawn, and got back behind the wheel way before Allie emerged. On her heels, I recognized Yubo and his daughter. We waved a friendly hello. And within seconds, it struck me. He was on foot.

We could beat him today! He wasn't even in a vehicle. He'd neglected the advice he'd given me about pulling into the loading area in advance then circling out of the unloading fray. He was trekking across the great lawn, through full lots at the Museum of Natural History and beyond to some distant parking spot.

"Allie, get in quick! Keeping up with the Asians! Let's go, look alive, hustle, girlfriend."

"Ok. I'm in. Go ahead, GO, mom, go."

"Yubo, IT is on!"

We smoothly but swiftly made the 360 and were out on the open road headed into thru traffic. Allie had them in sight, still walking. Maybe he forgot where he'd parked? (doubtful) My adrenaline was pumping; we had to be a full 5 minutes ahead of him.

This was the day! I smugly cruised through the green lights, rights on red, mindful of not gunning it or otherwise setting a bad example for my near-driving-age daughter. Simultaneously, I was aware of modeling for her that assertiveness and ambition are every bit as much her claim as anyone's and that being first was within reach! We can do this thing. You can do anything you set your mind to...(check that theology before you repeat it)

I confidently turned the last corner preparing to park in front of Dr. K's studio and greet the rest of the quartet when they arrived. What to my wondering eyes did appear...YUBO!

Parked. In the shady spot. Cool, calm, collected. Talk about smug?!* How did he do that?!?

Impossible! The man has a short cut he's not sharing, or batwings on the Highlander, or something. I'm sure he didn't pass me. Allie and I had a good laugh as I feigned the disdain of a poor loser. She suggested it was blog material because of its hilarity. Yeah, but it's a little off topic, I thought. Until the spiritual significance and a pattern dawned on me this morning.

My 25 year old niece, who we all love, has moved in with us and is athletic (but not competitive). She is a team player par excellence and maximizer of others. So it is, that I am getting what I consider an extreme amount of exercise by virtue of spending quality time with her. Today we headed for our ocean front exercise loop which includes 8 flights of stairs. She runs. I walk.

Walking by myself has its benefits. I can sort through my thoughts rather than chatter and usually end up hearing something from the Lord especially when in eyeshot of His glorious ocean. The majesty of its expanse gives me pause and triggers a rush of verses and songs. Since I was alone, I could softly sing the Hallelujah... refrain that the Spirit brought to mind...your love makes me sing...your love is amazing...

Timing it so we'd end up at the car around the same time, I cut into the stairs a couple flights short of the entire loop. Descending, I caught myself scoping where Kathryn was from the top of each flight not just to synchronize, but to see if she was gaining on me!

I was not doing too bad for a 45 year old, non-athlete. Wait! What's wrong with me. You don't have to be first at everything. Then the tie-in came to me. A lesson from years back that I obviously haven't fully internalized. Am I so busy watching the other sheep that I've taken my eyes off the Shepherd?

Sadly, even within the disability world, there is competition and comparison that deters us from seeing who Jesus is and what God has just for us. We compare skills, deficits, levels of functioning, meds, therapies, and effectiveness. We compare siblings, expectations, and outcomes. To a degree this is discernment but much of it is distracting and even idolatrous.

I am going back to re-read Phillip Keller's classic, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23.

"To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Isaiah 40:24-26

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, Galatians 6:3-5

As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. Exodus 17:10-12

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-15

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:9-11

How Do You Do It (with a smile)? Entry 3

Today's guest post is from my soul sister across the miles, Jeneil Russell.

She sets her sights on a word from the Lord in every single challenge from seizures to allergies to deployments. Then she crafts an eloquent, faith-building illustration in her blog, Rhema's Hope. Her site is a deep mine of treasures including a video about her family, a tribute to her husband's military service, the power in a name, and the utter joy of raising two beautiful daughters.

We got to meet face to face when I flew through Logan last month. I know exactly how Julia Child felt at the train station meeting Avis DeVoto, her inimitable pen pal of 7 years. Have you seen Julie & Julia yet? Go...

When I grow up, I want to be like Jeneil. Add her to your RSS!


How do you do it with a smile?

Well, there is no choice but to do it.

The sleepless nights, the endless hours of speech, OT, and ABA therapy, the doctor appointments, the IEP meetings, the seizures, the tantrums, the medications, the daily care, the special diets, the highs and lows… we do the life of autism every day.

God has fearfully and wonderfully made a beautiful, precious child and entrusted her to me. (That fact alone still amazes me). And she had my heart the moment I knew she was growing inside me. Love for her has always compelled me.

So I do it because I can’t not do it.

But to do it with a smile is something altogether different.

I smile. Because the God who created her loves her more than I ever could. I believe that He has a wonderful purpose and plan for her life. (Jer. 29:11). I believe that this is just a journey and one day she will be healed in total (if not on earth, in heaven) – seizure-free, senses a-righted, she will speak and understand and sing.

I smile. Because God is writing a story that is just too good. I couldn’t have come up with something better if I tried. The way her little mind works, the way she sees the world… it’s great material for smiles and laughter. Like when she thinks the toilet plunger is a large hat, or when she jumps out of the local pool soaking wet and hugs a lounging sunbather, or when she’s overcome with giggles for a reason unknown to us.

I smile. Because this life could have crushed us, but God has sustained us and re-made us. Everyday He speaks to us and teaches us, through a child without words.

The concerns for her future are there, always there. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. But as His perfect plan unfolds, my face cannot help but break into a big, joyful, grateful smile.

Roller Coaster...of Love

Today's New York Times has an honest, positive, and well-rounded article by Annie Lubliner Lehmann whose book, The Accidental Teacher: Life Lessons form My Silent Son, we will all have to read.

The title of the article, "A Roller Coaster to Acceptance of A Son's Autism," caught my eye because it was the very same metaphor I used to describe our adventures in autismland to a group of mothers of preschoolers (MOPS) recently. Their theme for the year is Adventures in Motherhood and each month's speaker was asked to orient their topic around a theme park ride.

Here's an excerpt from my roller coaster talk:

My house, and I’m sure some of yours too, has “never a dull moment.” Toddlers and preschoolers are by definition “on the go” which makes for an abundance of activity and unexpected surprises.We had a favorite song when my kids were preschoolers, a Scottish folk song by Bonnie Rideout. “Oh such a Hurryburry , oh what a din, oh such a hurryburry our house is in,” it went. Just when I think those days are gone some craziness happens again.

My kids are technically teenagers now, 14 yr old boy/girl twins. My son, Reid, has autism and maybe some other labels if we wanted to pin them on him—OCD, bi-polar, ADHD x 10. You name it, he seems to have a touch of it. So the hurry burry goes with the territory. In many ways our lifestyle is still as unpredictable as yours with toddlers—we are still working on language development, social skills, turn taking, sharing, using your words, even potty training. Autism affects social, language, and behavioral development—so mastery of those skills will be a lifelong pursuit for Reid.

Just last Saturday, the hurry burry set in when a friend dropped by unexpectedly (Reid thrives on structure). As I walked her to the curb, another friend walked by with her small dog. Our big dog saw the little dog through the window, which spurred a barking frenzy. Since Reid has hyper-sensitive hearing, this brought on a screaming jag and an explosive reaction. Doors were slammed and a garage door opener thrown. I am grateful to have some pretty exceptional friends who understand when I yell BYE and suddenly bolt for the door to salvage the house before my husband blew up too. Sound familiar? This is not unlike what you do with toddlers when you get off the phone abruptly, “gotta go” because of a loud noise from the other room.

I tell you all this not to bash my son or complain-- but simply to establish why I chose the roller coaster as my theme park. Most roller coasters start with a very long twisting line.

Our experience of parenting started with a very long wait –7 years of infertility followed by the twists and turns of adoption before…in total ecstasy we finally adopted TWINS—a boy and a girl no less!

Around 18 months, I had a gut feeling that something was not quite right with Reid and began asking questions of the pediatrician…wanting to be told that it was nothing. I raised every red flag on a checklist of autism symptoms.

Can you picture those hard, full-body restraint seat belts they lower over you and click into place when you get in a coaster car? That’s what it felt like when Reid was gradually diagnosed with autism around 3 years old. With no choice in the matter, we initially felt trapped, stuck, a little tricked by God, and like surely we were going to die.

Thus began the steep ascent up the first hill. We white knuckled it up every hill climb and blind turn, telling ourselves I can do this, freaking out inside, trying to fearing the future, trying to silence our second thoughts and all the "what ifs".

The slow, click, click, clicking sounds of the machinery remind me of how painstaking it is for Reid to master every new skill and developmental milestone . You can practically hear the gears turning in his brain and feel the traction that’s required to do what seems so simple for everyone else—utter a sentence, throw a ball, tolerate clothes on, blow out a candle, ride a 2-wheeler, tie his shoes.

Then the coaster goes into that free fall and drops-- along with your stomach.

Everyone around you is screaming; air is whooshing and machinery sounds seem to be turned on full blast. Reid’s body is often out of sync. He has a myriad of sensory integration issues. Background and foreground noise are one in the same for him. He hears fluorescent lights and I believe the neighbor’s television sets. When he is on overload, it becomes our reality as well. One thing can lead to another in rapid succession then, and there is no way to get off the ride.

OWHH! Then along comes a sharp turn. Your neck jerks and you are thrown around. For us, this happens when there are problems at school. We’ll have to find another one. Or when the daily phone call from school includes an “incident report” or “problem behavior” documented for the record. Turn after turn. Hang on!! When will this end?

(Can you tell I don’t like roller coasters?) Here’s why I think God allows them…or what I’ve learned about God from the one I’m on!

First thing I’ve noticed about coasters—even from the ground level where I usually just sit and watch-- is that even the people who love them, mostly love them at the end. When they are over. Waiting in line, they’re scared, anxious, tense, and insecure. It’s not until the final braking and coasting into the station that the smiles form across their faces. It’s only when they’re de-boarding the vehicle—taking all your belongings with you—that they say, “Let’s do it again!”

1 John 1:4 says “what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, we proclaim to you also, These things we write, so that our joy may be made complete.”

Our joy does tend to come at the end. God’s seems to indicate here that our joy will be complete at the end of the ride, not necessarily at every climb and twist and turn along the way.

Secondly, God doesn't leave us alone. I can count on one hand how many coasters I’ve ridden. One was at the Del Mar Fair. My daughter reallllly wanted to go on one. No dad around. You can’t put an 8 yr old on one of those rickety rides by herself so, I had to buck up and do it. In total self-sacrifice and protection, I said yes. I didn’t ride that one because I wanted to, but because she asked me to! I don’t think I would be on this ride-of-my-life if God had not asked me to take it. And, moreover, He goes with me, which really does make it all OK.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:5-7

Another time I found myself on Space Mountain in Disneyworld. The only thing worse than a fair roller coaster is one in the dark where you sit single file! This time we were with courageous boy cousins and a grandfather who pressured Allie and I into taking it. Papa Jim, her grandfather remembered it (from 30 yrs prior) and assured us it was very tame…nothing really. Well, we believed him until we entered the first dark tunnel. It was not tame! Allie was mad. She won’t trust Papa again…at least in theme parks.

Lastly, God doesn’t betray us. He clearly indicates that there will be trials along the way: in this world. He doesn't want us to be surprised; he doesn't talk us into things, He talks us through them in His Word.


"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33


"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing" 1 Peter 4


"Just think—you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.
1 Corinthians 1:6-8 from The Message