All God's Children

If you've never been in a room full of kids with disabilities, you haven't lived!

That wish may not be at the top your bucket list but, trust me if you ever get the chance it will tip your whole bucket upside down. Add music, worship or performance to that room and you approach an other-worldly experience that quickly becomes spiritual.

There is nothing quite so humbling or profound as watching people express themselves creatively without inhibition. I have had this experience a handful of times: at a Music Therapy Center recital, at Beyond Limits adult Sunday school class, and at the Young Life Capernaum Club Talent Show last June. Take a peek at what our friend Sean Horton captured on film.

Capernaum Talent Show from Sean Horton on Vimeo.

My experience must only begin to approach God's delight at watching us, his children--all of us differently-abled--using the gifts He gave us freely without comparison or ego or pride to adulterate them. It's pure and true to a liberating extent.

"Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart." 1 Samuel 16:6-8

“To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey." Matthew 25:14-15

Photo credit: Bill Wilson

P.S. You're invited to visit a Capernaum Club every other Thursday night at 6:30 at Flood church offices on Ruffin Road in San Diego.

Unplugged...literally

Last Thursday of all Thursdays, we experienced a power outage in all of San Diego. Perhaps you read about it. What the news didn't mention was that Paula Dawson and I had been working for months with Tobias Haglund planning our first annual San Diego Capernaum fundraiser. All that day, we had loaded, unloaded and shlepped belly bar tables, glassware, raffle items, and provisions from around the county up to the 5th floor rooftop venue for this "perfect evening." By 3:00 we were home to shower. At 3:38 the power was out. Regardless of the unforeseen problem, we were back on the roof by 6:00 unable to turn our enthusiasm off.

As Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails." Following is the letter we delivered the morning after to nearly 100 guests who could not make it...and a few more pictures because we were just so pumped up to celebrate the first year of this ministry!

The people rubbed their eyes, incredulous—and then also gave glory to God. Awestruck, they said, "We've never seen anything like that!"

Luke 5:26 The Message

the namesake story of Capernaum matched our experience last night at the Rooftop Soiree when God said, “Let there be candlelight and a full moon.”

Have you ever planned something that didn’t turn out quite the way you planned it…yet it was still awesome?

Clearly, last Thursday night we were planning one thing and the Lord had another idea. Our preparations for you to hear the highlights of the first year of San Diego Capernaum’s existence were thwarted by the power outage. But not doused.

Twenty-five of us did make it, believe it or not. We have included the photos to prove it. We hope this goodie bag might be the next best thing to being there. When you have time, read on and we will tell you how it went.

Many of you have asked this morning after, “How can I help?” The short answer is: You could complete the enclosed giving card and return it to us. Our top priority is to increase monthly giving through electronic funds transfers of any amount. More on that below…

Parents of special needs kids share an almost universal experience of finding God’s greater glory in the midst of what can feel like disappointment or loss at first. A son you thought you’d teach to surf never does. Instead God’s plan for him is to touch hearts through music and transform your family from the inside out. A daughter who may never live alone brings joy to hundreds of “typical” kids at camp with a highly contagious laugh. Last night was one more opportunity to practice flexibility, acceptance of whatever the Lord gives or takes away, and squint our eyes to recognize hidden blessings.

Who would’ve imagined how the Spirit would move amidst the more intimate crowd: the One Hope wine rep was clearly inspired; a volunteer catering assistant hugged us and said he’d like his daughter to work at the camp he heard described; one diehard couple came unshowered after cleaning their salt water aquarium that had flooded; and every single one of our faithful volunteer leaders stayed into the wee hours to fellowship.

We were blessed by your intentions of attending. It was an incredible setting. Liz Stiger told touching stories about the privilege of being the “best friend” to numerous teens with disabilities. She has walked alongside them as they face real trials and make life-changing decisions. She called us to bold belief like the four men who lowered their friend through the roof at Capernaum to get him to Jesus' feet. She told modern day examples of transformation that take place when we invite Jesus into our heart. And she testified to the benefits that inclusive camping offers to the typical kids.

Wonderful as it was to hear her, sample savory treats and and sip a cold Corona after braving the incredulous traffic to finally get there, our goal was not just to show you a night on the town with food, music and a spectacular view. Our goal was to communicate to you the vision of Young Life Capernaum, show you the mighty way God is working through our Area Director, Tobias Haglund and his team, and give you an easy opportunity to participate.

We are convinced God wants San Diego Capernaum to be healthy and self-sustaining. After just 6 months in operation we have grown from serving 8 families to 22. It gives us joy as a Committee that God lets us help Him collect the financial resources needed to sustain and grow this ministry. We have seen first hand the incredible things God is doing through Tobias and his faithful and unbelievably talented leadership team. You can too on our webpage or Facebook where we will post the slideshow and Talent Show video we prepared.

Our fundraising goal for the second year is $70,000. We need $40,000 to “keep the lights on” (pun intended). Another $15,000 would enhance the program (North County is begging for a second Club location), provide additional training, and send more kids to summer camp next year. We also think it prudent to have $15,000 in the bank going into year three. Praise God that we currently have $13,000 in monthly pledges, so we are on our way.

The enclosed card outlines three ways to participate with us; we need Prayers, Players, and Payers. We hope you will check one of those and return it to us.

Payers may give online or by mail. We have donors giving from $5 per month to $400 per month. The automatic withdrawal option is easy, maintenance free, and gives you an email receipt every month. Please consider this as you contemplate your participation. Other donors prefer to give one-time gifts. We appreciate both.

We praise God for the incredible memories of last night: the full moon, the safe arrival and departure of our speaker from Washington, our accident-free exit down five flights of stairs in the dark, the opportunity to feed the homeless of San Diego with copious party trays, the flashlight in Sally’s purse, 2 out of 4 Kingsmen singing Switchfoot's “This is Your Life” unplugged, the exuberant smiles of downtown dwellers who could walk home, the unforgettable memory of being above the fray as sirens sounded without ceasing and the Kingdom work God lets us help Him do.

Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?
 Isaiah 53:1-3

Top 10 Tuesday

Top 10 Reasons to use Dignifying Language about those with Autism

(or any disability)

10. We are more alike than different

9. We are all disabled somehow

8. You likely love someone on the spectrum since it affects 1 in 95 children

7. You wouldn't want to offend someone in the room

6. We are all made in God's image

5. The Golden Rule is to love your neighbor as yourself; it's how you'd want to be treated

4. Words change our perception of others

3. People meet the expectations we set for them; your words impact another's identity

2. A person is a person; a soul is a soul

1. You have influence over others

Of course this begs the question: What is dignifying language? Kathie Snow at Disability is Natural has ammassed a wealth of articles here that define people-first language quite well.

John Tomkins work in developing Green Language is also excellent. Exploring his site for a couple minutes makes you mindful of your tongue in new ways. There are many ways to interact with his site, games for kids, and explanations of how our brains react to language and how words lead to behavior. We can all improve on this. And it's a matter of life or death according to the Bible.

Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation." Matthew 12:33-35 The Message

Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit--you choose.

1. Proverbs 18:20-22 The Message

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Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

1. Proverbs 15:3-5 The Message

On Earth as it is...

Need a summer movie rental (for mature audience)? As It Is In Heaven, a Swedish film nominated for Best Foreign Film Hollywood Awards available from Netflix, is incredibly thought provoking. It is a compelling story about how to really love your neighbors. It is also a testament to the power of music to transform a entire community. And how can you speak about love without inclusion!

Tore is a young man experiencing developmental disability in the film. Some in the community call him a "cuckoo" others accept, comfort, shepherd, even learn from him. The filmmakers realistically depict the interdependence model Kathie Snow extrapolates here in her Disability Is Natural newsletter. As God would have it here on earth, Tore is not the only one with special needs who needs a little help now and then.

Despite his innocence, he is wise to tension often sensing what others miss or ignore. This closing scene is meant to intrigue not to spoil. (If you want the preview instead click here.) As the town choir takes the stage at a choral competition without their conductor, Tore takes an unplanned leadership role. The result weaves together several threads of the movie.

Life is not about being able. It is not about achievement. It is not about winning. Redemption is messy and beautiful. It requires vulnerability and courage. In some measure, both require finding your own voice and joining a chorus of others.

God has a will and a purpose in each of our lives. The conductor in the movie states his calling early in life: to open people's hearts with music. A tutor of Reid's asked me recently, "What is yours?" I hemmed and hawed awkwardly, having just met her after all. "Go ahead," she urged, "there's no one listening, just you and me, what is it?"

She was unrelenting as I stuttered in embarrassment and false pride. I choked out what was pounding in my chest but had never been articulated: to convince people that there is always hope. I was grateful for her insistence last night as Reid and I lounged in the hot tub. Out of the blue he blurted, "Mom, what's your destiny?" I had an answer!

When I turned the question on him he shot back, "to sing."

What's yours?

This, then, is how you should pray:

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come, your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you,

your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men their sins,

your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6

Who you gonna call?

The pack's all back! Even Benny our faithful mutt has a grin on his face. It just feels right to have Jim home after a 2 week absence. As we finished our GF waffles this morning, he and I got sucked into Facebook catching up on a new batch of our high school chums. Picture us in the zone, eyes squinting, fully absorbed in the glow of the screen. All of a sudden, Reid cried out in uncharacteristic maturity, "Mom, what are you doing?!" I looked up to see smoke billowing out from the sauce pan of maple syrup I'd left on the gas stove.

"Yikes! Good call, Reider." "You did the right thing to tell me." "You know what they say, where there's smoke there's fire." "That could have been dangerous." Reinforce, reinforce, reinforce. I did I tell you as I airlifted the blackened pot outside to the brick patio and instructed Reid to turn on the fan (whose noise he hates unless he flips the switch himself).


Are there any stranger events to celebrate, than the ones in which we rejoice? This was a good omen for future independent living ability; a sign of higher executive function; a reason to celebrate. I remember my similar elation the first time Reid got spooked to be separated from me at Target and called out, "Mom, where are you!" This morning marked a milestone. Who cares about the pot?

Several years ago Jim fell off a ladder while pruning trees. He was home alone with Reid at the time since Allie and I were walking the dog around the block. More alarming than getting the wind knocked out of him was the realization that Reid had not noticed his injury. Danger Will Robinson. Many times since we've wondered how to explain an emergency to Reid. Asked ourselves: does he know to get help? Could he describe what happened? Have we taught him about 911? All those "life skills" topics that aren't probably covered at school and don't arise often enough for repetitive teaching. Those critical skills required for independent adulthood.

After all the praise for doing the right thing this morning, Reid puffed out his adolescent chest and added, "we should call a plumber." Doh! Back to the curriculum to review those community helpers. It's all so confusing....police, firemen, AAA, plumbers. Who can keep it all straight?


Watch! Be alert! For you don't know when the time is [coming]. Mark 13:32-34

After the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was a voice, a soft whisper. 1 Kings 19:11-13

Yet I call this to mind, and therefore I have hope: [Because of] the LORD's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. Lamentations 3:20-22

A Friend In Deed

I have been reading Tim McGinnis' StrengthsFinder blog and happened upon this Trombone Player Wanted film series. Marcus Buckingham creatively makes his point with a boy in the school band who is a natural percussionist but has been told to play trombone. Let this whet your appetite.




If kids instinctively know their strengths, then our role as parents is to enhance their pursuit of them. It may save their lives either literally or figuratively (keep reading about Nathaniel Ayers). Kids with autism, and reams of paperwork outlining their deficits (otherwise known as IEP's) and obstacles stacked against them, desperately need our support to affirm and articulate their strengths. Arguably, it will cost them more than the "normal" population to be settle for mediocrity or be misguided.

In an odd coincidence, another performance at the Walt Disney Performing Arts Center is pivotal in Steve Lopez' true story, The Soloist. His arduous friendship with a destitute homeless man moves him from being marginalized to heroic. Lopez unlocks this man's potential using his obsession with music as the key. I'll show you this trailer if you promise to read the book first.



John Donne said, no man is an island. As an introvert, I sometimes prefer being alone. During stressors in my life, including Reid's diagnosis, my tendency is to pull inward, resign, recoil, resist. (Recall the funny scene in Father of the Bride with Steve Martin and the guard dogs?) That retreat only serves me so long. After a certain point, it is not beneficial to be alone. I need others to pull me out of my own quandry and keep me moving. So, it is easy to understand how Nathaniel Ayers, after his mother's death, basically lost his marbles.

When I see homeless people, I almost always think of the words of John Bradford (and my grandmother) who said, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." Knowing all the pieces that fit together for Reid to appear and behave as a functioning member of society, I can quickly imagine him (or any of us) in their shoes were the scaffolding to come down. What would it take for your life to come apart at the seams? A couple of "biggies"--loss of a job, the economy failing, death of a provider, hurricane, illness, a move--and any of us could be on the street needing a friend like Steve Lopez.



A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:16-18


Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him. Proverbs 19:3-5


A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:23-24


The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp... Exodus 33:10-12

Summer Shorts 4

Hollywood is getting a lot of people down. Benjamin Snow spells out yet another way in this entry in the Film Your Issue contest. Check out more photos and details of his trip to New York to be recognized as a finalist here. His mom, Kathie Snow, has endless good resources throughout the same site for your own reading or as teacher resources. I love their logo which is a bowl of 6 apples. Five are red and one is green to illustrate the reality that one American in five is a person with a disability. "A green apple is more like red apples than different. A person with a disability is more like people without disabilities than different. Apples are natural . . . and having a disability is a 'natural part of the human experience." Right on Kathie!

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 1 Corinthians 12:3-5

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Genesis 1:30-31



"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. John 5: 7-9

Holland's Reprise

Welcome to Holland may be a familiar essay to you. (If so, skip ahead to the sequel which I bet you haven't seen.)

Welcome to Holland is often quoted and handed out to newly diagnosed families. It captures the emotional loss and dismay at that stage of the journey. It also stirs hopes for a new dream. Originally written by Emily Perl Kingsley about her experience with downs syndrome, it has significance to those of us experiencing other diagnoses as well.

Emily Perl Kingsley is the mother of a child with down syndrome. She has done much to improve the ways in which people with disabilities are portrayed in the media. She received many Emmy Awards working as a writer for Sesame Street and integrating mentally and physically disabled children and adults into their format. Her inspirational classic has been reprinted in many languages. Dear Abby runs this piece every October to commemorate National Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

When I shared it the MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) group at our church last year I was reminded that it is even more universal than that. One of the older mentor "grandmoms" pointed out an application in her life that was not at all disability related. The fact is: managing expectations is a lifelong, human condition. Life takes many twists and turns that often diverge from what we have planned or envisioned. So, whatever your current circumstance, I hope you will pick up something new from this retelling of Welcome to Holland. You can read it below or watch this brilliant interpretive reading of it.

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Now, for the sequel which to my knowledge was written by Lisa A. Eicholtz. It describes the relentlessly stubborn drive that we must have (or must develop) as parents of kids with autism. The conviction to never say never, always find a way, and think out-of-the-box until goals are met and skills are mastered one by one, as long as it takes.

When you wake up and find yourself in Holland, you realize it is a beautiful place. But, it's not the place you want to be. So you need to decide...do I stay here and enjoy the tulips and the farmlands? Or do I want to see the mountains and valleys and the beauty of Italy?


We have decided that in spite of winding up in Holland, we really don't want to stay. No offense to Holland, but after awhile, Holland is really no substitute for Italy. So, we get out new guidebooks and we discover that sometimes, you can get from Holland to Italy.

It looks like rough going and the terrain is not clear. And for some reason, there are no flights...we set off walking. We make some wrong turns and get lost--several times. But we persevere. Some day, with the right guides, and the right amount of effort, we will see Italy.

Who knows this better than Jesus, our Lord and Savior, who had Eden in mind as the destination resort for all creation? When sin derailed the agenda, He stepped in Himself to walk us across borders through the "horrible, filthy place" of Earth right into Eternity--which is way more beautiful than Italy.

You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:8-10

To Cure or Accept

Good Morning America aired a show today titled, Controversial Movement: Autistic and Proud, Activists Stop Looking for a Cure and Accept People As They Are. It is important to see. It far outweighs any coverage of Jenny McCarthy you may have seen in recent months. You can watch it here as video or read the brief transcript here. The guest speakers, Kristina Chew and Ari Ne'eman have a blog and a website respectively which also deserve a peek. Kristina is a parent whose great line in the interview is "Acceptance is the beginning of hope." Ari makes a cogent observation that every civil rights movement in history has had detractors and resistance. He is right to think of it on that scale.

I find it profoundly coincidental that this aired the same week as Harriet McBryde Johnson's death. She loomed large as an advocate for disability rights protesting Jerry Lewis' telethons because of the discrimination they perpetuated toward those with muscular dystrophy. As a child with severe dystrophy, she believed she didn't have long to live and resented the implication that her only chance of happiness was a cure. Sound familiar? Her book, Too Late to Die Young, while inflammatory and challenging to read, is seminal to the disability rights movement. Society's stereotypes should not get in the way of people living their lives or meeting their potential. What I want for Reid and what Kristina Chew wants for her son is progress toward his greatest potential, not a cure. By the way, that is the very same thing I want for my daughter.

Harriet McBryde Johnson influenced many others including Michael John Carley, Executive Director of GRASP (Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership). After reading her article, Unspeakable Conversations, wherein she defends her own right to life, he saw the parallels to the autism community and felt compelled to lead the charge at GRASP. His interview on NPR's All Things Considered 2 years ago had virtually the same title as today's Good Morning America piece. What is so "controversial" about wanting acceptance instead of cures?

Years ago, we had an opportunity to talk over dinner with Tony Attwood who was in town for a seminar. It was a thrill to go around a table of 10 and be able to ask him questions. My husband, inspired by his associations in Silicon Valley and a recent article in Wired magazine, asked Mr. Attwood to expound upon the competitive advantages of being on the autism spectrum. How could we, as parents, help harness those in our children (not cure but push to progress)? Mr. Attwood's answer was astounding (then and now) as he took the concept one step further to suggest that the increased incidence of autism could, in his opinion, be an example of natural selection in our species. While I am far more creationist than evolutionist, I hear his point. There is an unmistakable genius in what we diagnose "abnormal."


"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:7-9

Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:6-8

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-15

photo credit: lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com