In Which Self-Talk Reveals

Ok, this clip from Father of the Bride is more than just hilarious. I'm searching for it as I work on a book proposal recounting our April 2010 to April 2011 adventure as it relates to and requires a number of re-words. "Re: Re: RE: REID!" is my working title.

I needed to recall Steve Martin's choice list as he flounders to control the attack dogs:

Relent?

Recoil...

"I'm Relaxed..."

Reverse*

Release!

Much more on that later, but I happened upon something easier to tell in one sitting. You hear Steve Martin's self talk? As in numerous comedies, it is made audible in the movie for laughs.

"All I could think about was the size of this place...we coulda parked our whole house in the foyer..."

I live this brand of comedy daily. Reid lets us know exactly what he is thinking with an increasing amount of self-talk both at home and school. On the surface it is just one more "maladaptive" behavior to reckon with and raise concern. Looking deeper, the self-talk is actually worth much more than a few laughs.

Reid's externalized thought process literally reveals his motivations, where he's stuck, what challenge he's facing, and how hard he is attempting to do the right thing. It's a gift of revelation. A helpful tool in showing us how to set his potential free.

By talking to ourselves (albeit silently), don't we all process what is happening around us. We might encourage ourselves or beat ourselves up. Surely we prep up for the day's challenge over the coffee pot or in the closet choosing what to wear. Listen to yourself and take note of how much dialogue you have with yourself.

As I realize this, I am actually grateful that Reid's thoughts are as pure as they are. He sounds an awful lot like Paul in Romans ruminating over the battle between our old and new natures:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:15-20

Kick me!

Who doesn't need a kick in the pants every once in awhile? I got mine--affectionately--from Kelly Langston, my Facebook friend, fellow blogger and author of Autism's Hidden Blessings.

Here is her Authenticity Challenge: to find 12 Christian bloggers who will commit to get real and post everyday from January 25th to February 8th about how your faith helped you deal with a situation. Yikes! that's 2 weeks; I thought it was one when I enthusiastically replied, "I'm in!"

I need Kelly to move next door, call to me from over the hedge, "get writing you sluggard," and reward me with coffee cake when I click "publish post."

Today's an easy one, for yesterday Reid threw my iPhone onto our hard, unforgiving, slate floor when I held firm to my "no, you may not have it now."

If you've been reading long, you know I am practiced at self-control, anger management, and taking deep breaths. Sometimes I snap, but this time, I benefitted from the years of preparation. Having witnessed a shocking number of broken electronics, remotes, speakers, dvd players, ipods, even laptops in the past, made it relatively easy to remain calm. Practice makes perfect.

In the heat of any crisis, if I can call up a verse, glimpse a lesson God might be teaching me, catch an illustration to blog about alter, or fathom some eternal purpose to it, then I am willing to endure it. The more I am able to do this, the sooner I can almost embrace it as character building. For in short order, the Bible promises we and all our stuff will return to dust. Our spirits will be reunited with the Creator for eternity as He originally intended. So, this is all just one short, sometimes miserable, sometimes fun, camping trip anyway.

The verse that coursed through my veins as I surveyed the broken glass and screen gone white was, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

So, silently, sooo silently, I thank God for that truth. In doing so, I was reminded that my relationship with Reid is more valuable than any gadget. The perseverance and self-control I develop are what God cares about. The opportunities to model this and teach Reid respect for property far outweigh the actual property itself. Reid is the treasure who'll be with me in heaven. No thief can steal the character or hope that we amass on this journey through autism.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:1-4

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5: 3-5

To be authentic, I will say it put a damper on the day. We missed our usual morning church and trudged along until deciding we needed to get our praise on at the last ditch 6:45 PM alternative. Not knowing if the phone was repairable or what it would cost, placed us on hold as much as when the electricity had gone out a couple nights before. Worship plugged us back into the power source. It is like magic and clockwork every time I need an attitude adjustment.

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:6-8

So that you can experience some of the character developing patience of which I speak, (and because the bus is about to arrive) (and because I need to post again tomorrow) I will pause it there...