A Good Trade

He shot off the school bus forcing back tears. Running straight to his room, shutting the door he began an intense conversation with himself. "Mom, stay out I need privacy," may have been shown more clearly than it was said. I kept a distance while he brought a half dozen reusable shopping bags from the garage and filled them with the VCR tapes that line his desk. The self-talk was emotional and heart wrenching:

"Please don't take them away."

"You don't need those anymore."

"You can do it Reid. Just give me a bag."

"Allie I'm so sorry I've wasted your time." sobbing

"Will you forgive me?"

I sat on the stairs interceding, texting my prayer partner, and absorbing the significance of this cathartic scene. It was painful to sit and watch yet, promising. Wondering what had gone down at school that day, I was sure this must be a step in the progressive breakthrough we've been asking for. Victory is coming over the addictions and obsessions Reid battles. I knew for sure I hadn't prompted the video removal this time. It was entirely spontaneous and self-initiated.

As his tears and intensity subsided, I noticed the approaching dinner hour. In the drama, it completely slipped my mind that Tobias, Area Director of our newly launched Young Life Capernaum ministry, was coming at 5:00pm to hang out for their long anticipated "contact" time. Oh boy:/ Finally, now?! How would this possibly play out?

I spared Tobias the blow by blow and began the old spiel I give every first time caregiver and respite worker. Reciting the steps to structured success and doling out $5 for the ritual trip to Roberto's, I paused. Wait! The Spirit prompting me now, Let this be a new leaf. Let me show you the new thing I am doing.

I backed off, "I'll be upstairs if you need me, do whatever you want." Leaving them in the family room with the tv still on, I returned to my prayer stair. Before I knew it my tears started to flow.

Not only did Reid turn off the tv (an unheard of action usually requiring at least 10 minutes of negotiation and transition), but he promptly took the chord charts from Tobias' binder and broke into the purest form of worship this side of the pearly gates.

They continued for an hour through praise song after praise song about God's love. He Knows my Name...How He Loves Us...Mighty to Save...

Like a natural born worship leader, Reid called out lyrics to an invisible audience. Side by side they brought down the presence of the Lord to inhabit the praises of His people.

Those songs of deliverance perfectly timed, were the antidote to Reid's traumatic day, the encouragement of things to come, a replacement for what he laid down, and salve on the wounds of loss represented in those four shopping bags of dvd's.

All I could think of was how that day, that appointment--unbeknownsdt to us--had been ordained long before in order to answer our call for help and give him something better in return for the idols he was casting down.

Relating easily now, he and Tobias made a plan to sing every other Thursday leading others in worship. For such a time as this, Capernaum is in San Diego....and not just for Reid.

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:13-15

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me...to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61

Sing a New Song

I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:26-28

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him. Psalm 40:2-4

Almost every Sunday morning as we coast the 2 miles downhill to church (coffee or smoothie in hand), Reid breaks spontaneously into a praise song. (His memory for lyrics is astounding, not to mention the artist who's recorded it and what track it is on which of their albums.)

Eight times out of 10, the song Reid picks en route ends up being on the church bulletin that very Sunday! It's uncanny. This didn't dawn on me at first but, it has happened enough now that I am quite sure of the correlation. (All of us learn through repetition.)

Last week, he and I drove alone so instead of the usual foursome belting out the prophetic pre-worship selection, I was able to ask him, "Reid, how do you think of what song to sing in the car?"

After the usual pregnant pause I offered, "Does the Lord tell you which song?"

Immediately, "Yes the Lord gives it to me."

Is anything too hard for the Lord? Even if we struggle to communicate with ones profoundly language delayed, the God who made us all in His image, has a way.

As Hans Christian Andersen said, when words fail, music speaks. Music is the language of the soul, as another blogger points out.

Karen Kingsbury's fictional book, Unlocked, gave me much food for thought. She portrays Holden, a teenager with autism, with a close friends who unlocks his potential as well as the meaning behind some of his self stims. When he rocks, he is interceding for classmates.

I wonder if we gave our guys more credit for having spiritual gifts and disciplines, if they would grow into maturity?

Might we too, as they teach us in the process?

Stronghold

Do you have theme words in your life? Like a recurrent dream, the word "stronghold" shows up often for me.

First time, I really didn't know what it meant. However, when someone uses that kinda word in prayer over your infant children, you look it up.

Definition of STRONGHOLD

1

: a fortified place

2

a : a place of security or survival b : a place dominated by a particular group or marked by a particular characteristic

Initially, it seemed like some construct the enemy built to bog you down. A stronghold that enemy troops might have over an area.

Over the years through various Bible studies, I have learned that the Lord has strongholds of His own. Way more than the enemy.

Lately, I am learning that the Lord is a stronghold to whom we'd be wise to run to at lightning pace when we want protection. It is a safe refuge where we can be still and watch Him fight for us.

Currently, I am reading The Stronghold of God by Francis Frangipane and we completed this puzzle over Christmas. Oh how I love a good Unit Study with kinesthetic teaching!

Just today as I was walking with my Chris Rice, Peace Like a River cd, this stanza of grabbed me by the ears perhaps since I have tried so long in vain to save my son in my own strength:

Did we in our own strength confide,   

our striving would be losing,   

were not the right man on our side,   

the man of God's own choosing.  

Dost ask who that may be?    

Christ Jesus, it is he;   

Lord Sabaoth, his name,   

from age to age the same,   

and he must win the battle.

Sure enough, as I checked the title...it's "A Mighty Fortress is Our God!" Synonym for stronghold.... "fortress." I love that God loves words.

Although we pridefully refer to autism as a new diagnosis and ourselves as pioneering crusaders in the fight against it, autism is not puzzling to God. Jesus is our Savior and Deliverer from every foe and has been since Martin Luther wrote this in the 1528. He describes the same outcome we seek today when we feel socked in by defeat, fatigue, insurmountable opposition, and unlikely odds. I am enjoying the truth this song proclaims and the instructions of all four stanzas of the lyrics. They deserve a modern rewrite by Eugene Petersen.

The Lord has been Mighty in battle since long before Luther, in the days of Moses, Aaron, and Joshua. Our God is the same, the Holy Spirit the same, our victory comes in Jesus. Only the name of the enemy seems to have changed. Why reinvent the wheel?

I'll include this video too since Chris Rice's is not on YouTube. Here is Christy Nockels of Watermark singing, "You are My Stronghold."

I told you it was a theme. Do you have one?

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-3

God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake...Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us. Psalm 46:1-3 The Message

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Vision Accomplished

Life holds many ironies. Here's the latest I've noticed in our life.

When Reid reached about 3rd grade, Sunday school became a virtually impossibility. Worship time was engaging but breaking into small groups for discussion was Reid's cue to wander the campus. The entirely auditory exercise without visual support was beyond his ability to comprehend.

That year, I was serving as an Age-Level Coordinator, so that I could "float" and supervise, not teach, thereby be available to troubleshoot the classroom where Reid was. Sounds great in theory but one awkward Sunday morning it all came to a head. I never officially resigned, but they knew I was done. With one desperate glance and a furtive sigh, I looked up harriedly at the interim director of Children's Ministry and said, "I can't do this!" We haven't spoken since, beyond a polite "hello," nor have I been solicited to volunteer again.

The most expedient way for us to "do church" from that point on, was to have Reid join us in the sanctuary. Although we did it under duress and stubborn refusal to skip church, let me itemize the reasons why this might be preferable in the grander scheme. I realize them only in hindsight.

1. Reid practices the adult life skill of attending in a large group

2. The service is predictable and structured, therefore "safe"

3. Leaders from the pulpit are more consistent than the Sunday school volunteers

4. He experiences worship and more music--his best comprehension channel

5. The pastors recognize Reid

6. Reid knows his pastors

7. Our church family participates in Reid's progress

8. Friends are reminded of "the least of these" Jesus came to save

9. Friends around us are blessed by Reid's uninhibited singing

10. Reid is around people with typical language and behavior to model

Any others come to mind?

Here's the irony: Our church has recently embraced a shift in perspective on Next Generation ministry. Junior and Senior High students are being included in worship once a month and there is an expressed goal of flipping the ratio commonly associated with Children's Ministry and childcare settings. 1 adult to 5 children seems a safe and nurturing ratio. The church is aiming to reverse that so that 5 adults know every 1 student by name, care about them, even pray for them as they leave for college.

For once, (or as usual?) Reid is ahead of the game. Practically everyone knows his name! Even the Panera clerk where we religiously head afterwards. She has his "usual" bear claw and lemonade plated up before we reach the front of the line.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways. And My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:7-9

Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there. Genesis 32:28-30

Drawing Strength from Testimony

Each of these 30 minute vignettes produced by Joni and Friends Television will put your life into a new perspective. I particularly love the one titled, As for Me and My House, about Brian Doerksen's family. He is the singer songwriter who wrote several of my now-even-more-favorite praise songs. (Click on "Episodes" then scroll down.)

He and his wife have 6 children including 2 boys with Fragile X, which presents much like autism. Take time to be inspired by their testimony and glimpse into their tender family life. I particularly love the father-son shaving scene, perhaps because Jim and Reid are beginning to talk strategy on that rite of passage.

It is way belated to make this a Father's Day post, but it does remind me (as did similar scenes from Praying with Lior) of the unique resonance Doerksen's Faithful Father song has in describing God our Father. Coming from this humble man who is "forever faithful" to his boys, it is powerful to think of a God who is superhuman-ly able. What power and truth are in the words he sings..."for who you are, for all you do...from the moment my life began...you have been, you will be, certain as the rivers reach the sea, surer than the stars..."

And this clip of their son placing the final brick in Nehemiah's wall is a sermon in itself...



Yes! Thank you to the Doerksen's for sharing honestly all of who they are...modeling full inclusion...and proclaiming the truths of God through their questions rather than answers.