March Podcast: Marcie Strandburg

Mercy me. I missed March 31st to post Miss Marcie!

Marcie Strandburg is a one of the few, the humble, the prayer warriors. She showed up when I advertised a Moms in Touch prayer circle for special needs moms several years ago. In order to appreciate how unique and faithful she is, you need to know I sent more than 100 email invitations!

She is a rare gem of a tender heart who really prays--alone, together, outloud, silently, by email, in her sleep. We have become closer friends since then and now serve together on several committees. Marcie is Prayer Captain for Young Life Capernaum San Diego. She heads up Aspirations, a monthly Asperger's support group at North Coast Calvary Chapel in Carlsbad. Her website is a great local resource. And--the Lord multiplies her time--she's been instrumental in hosting our next Concert of Prayer there too! Save the date: Saturday morning, May 21st!

You won't hear any of that on this podcast though, just her humble heart of love for the Lord and her son, Jacob. I love doing these because every time, I learn something new about one of my friends. Listen and love...

AutismUnplugged-Marcie.Strandburg.mp3

yeah, uhuh, whatever, go ahead

I picked Reid up early from school. We met Jim at the offices of an integrative educational specialist for an initial intake appointment. Had one of those lately? The encounter was awesome and admittedly atypical.

Jim tends to leave details and decisions like this to me, so it was not until we were in the waiting room that he mouthed (a little too loudly I thought), "What is this place? How long is this gonna take? and What do they do?" Classic!

I had already gotten a tour, met the players, and interviewed 4 satisfied clients. So, the organic, responsive, in the moment, alternative experience that ensued did not take me by total surprise. Jim had not. So it did.

His reactions crack me up. His humor afterwards illustrates how open-minded and fluid we've become. His mannerisms in the moment harken back to our common reference points. Where would we be without each other as bookends to hold up all that's gone between?

After 20 minutes in the waiting room (one broken photo album and a bent wastebasket later), Reid bulldozed through the door to scope this place out. Forget greetings or a potty break between appointments for the owner. Rather than block him or force a do-over with proper greetings, this purple clad female recognized his sensing curiosity. She immediately shifted from any protocol in order to follow his lead. Honoring the child, as they call it other places, she did what made more sense: treated him energetically.

We had expected her to politely grill us and review the ream of paperwork I'd dropped off beforehand. Instead, in short order, she had Reid and I both up on different massage tables tuning into Sennheiser headphones while she began Body Talk. (photo not actual size)

What about Jim? He had no idea what to do out in the hallway. I only peeked out the window once to see his dropped jaw and dumbfounded expression. The stereophonic rain and chimes sounded too good; the blanket on my feet too cozy to worry about whether he had gotten out his laptop or gone back to work.

After my balancing, I was terrifically calm, resonating with Reid on the comfy plum sofa. I could only grin watching Jim caddy corner from me in total bewilderment. He listened to the spontaneous specialist talk in intuitive circles, unable to nod or fill in her sentences. She may as well have been speaking gibberish. Later in bed, we debated whether he had actually spoken the words, "I don't even care," or just thought them.

Either way, our new friend had sized us up. These smart, engaged parents have been around the block. The mom is anxiety ridden. The dad focussed on results.

Bottom line: she won't make any predictions or guarantees, but she has complete confidence in her work. How long? How much? How often?How will we measure success? It can't be quantified. Finally, with a furrowed brow Jim did say outloud, "so, are we done here?"

Once we got home, he chuckled describing it to Allie as a "total twilight zone seeing mom in there drooling on a pillow." (exaggeration) At the same time, God love him, he is open to the value it may hold. Together, we are undying optimists hoping against hope to find the master key which will unlock the potential all agree Reid has in him. That is the unanimous common denominator that draws us back to each new specialist.

Oh Lord, it's hard not to be cynical when you've lost count of how many have claimed their work would be the bomb. The look on Jim's face told it all. What he wanted to do was hand them a list and say, "yeah, uhuh, we know...That's what they all say." "I'll call you when the results are obvious."

I don't blame him for I felt the same way. I suppose we want to be treated as colleagues for having acquired some knowledge along the way. Evidence of progress for all the time and money invested, would be nice. And acknowledgment, just for the record, that we are not starting at square 1 here; we are way into the double digits! So I wrote that list for Jim, in chronological order as best I can recall:

Occupational therapy

Speech therapy

Sensory Integration

Chiropractic

Nutritionists (5 come readily to mind)

Wilbarger brushing protocol

Integrated Playgroups

The GFCF diet

Applied Behavioral Analysis, ABA

Pivotal Response Training

Fast ForWord

Cranial Osteopathy with Viola Fryman and 5 of her proteges

Floortime training with Serena Wieder

Dr. Youssefi's GMS- SMI Institute

Pfeiffer Clinic

B12 injections

Auditory Integration Training

Samonas

Tomatis

Interactive Metronome

Music Therapy

Brain Highways

Brain Gym

Applied Kinesiology

Neuro-Emotional Technique, NET

Nambudripad Allergy Elimination Techniques, NAET

Neurofeedback

The Healing Rooms

Amen Clinic

and now....Body Talk

Parents who've been on this journey will surely understand what it's like to be held captive hearing suggestions you've heard before presented as if they are new under the sun; listening politely to the claims while calculating the hourly fees; feeling like "the sucker born every minute" on whom P.T. Barnum banked.

By now, I feel more like a battered wife returning yet again to be socked, disappointed, even burned, all the while wondering, just this once, if it could be different. Then choosing to go because, after all, you've got nowhere else to go. And you want so badly for the happy ending.

"Where there is no vision, the people perish." Proverbs 29:18

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:20-22

Provision

When I say provision do you think of food? Ordinarily I would too, though "I'm not a big eater." Ha!

However, let me go on record as saying there are more important provisions than food. When I look back at our journey through autism thus far, there are some pivotal people who the Lord has provided for us at just the right time in truly miraculous ways.

Danielle, was the first case manager for Reid's home program. She became way more than that, like a counselor and trusted advisor. What amazes me still is how we had met in Bay Area through an early mentor mom to me, Irma Velasquez (she has since started Wings Learning Center). Reid had had a facilitated playdate with her son, Aaron, which Danielle facilitated. We connected on some gut level and remembered each other. In less than a year's time, we both were planning a move back to San Diego. Danielle confided that she might also be relocating to work at the UCSD Autism lab.

Timely enough, we had a shoe-in for our home program --someone I already trusted fully. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Danielle had gone to our church as a college student. Our shared faith further bonded us and blurred the lines of professionalism. Suffice it to say, I was very comfortable with her in the house training our team and spending long hours with Reid. We cried when she left at the acknowledgment of God providing exactly what we needed in those early days.

Carla, was part of the glory days on Danielle's team. We hired her with the same gut feeling that she'd just plain be good. A Canadian expat, she worked part-time as a guidance assistant in our local district. Little did we know what mysterious ways the Lord was working in then. I will never forget the first time Carla and Reid came into the kitchen after their closed-door play session. They were singing little Sunday school praise songs, which were Reid's only words at the time. I was flabbergasted to see that Carla knew them! God had provided.

We cried when she drove off for Florida in that orange Penske truck, not knowing that she'd be back. The amazing recurrent blessing of Carla is that she moved back for another year under very different circumstances for a Masters in Real Estate. The gift of that year was for me as much as Reid. It marked a million milestones in both our lives and moved me forward in writing, mothering, and sisterhood, for that is what we've become.

Kathryn Mary, cousin Kat, has been a similar kind of gift these past 5 months. She has been friend, confidante, family member, sous chef, and breath of fresh air to all of us. For such a time as this, she has helped us shift our focus to Allie's imminent college decision; she offered a naturally occurring novelty of socialization for Reid; and without realizing it helped us raise the bar on many habits--whether wearing pajamas, shutting the bathroom door, or flossing more often. She left a week ago and we cried then too.

As I near the completion of Kelly Langston's Authentic Christianity Challenge, I think being authentic is acknowledging that the best things in life come from Him. In so doing, I also project that what He's done before, He will do again. The Lord will provide.

Who or what has God given you that you couldn't have arranged yourself?

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:16-18

So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. Genesis 50:20-22

And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:13-15

The Best Title in the World

For most of my childhood and early adult life, my primary aspiration was to be a mother. Still, after all the mellowing that age, reality and experience has accomplished, being a mom remains the title of which I am most proud. Maybe that is why this Autism File project appeals to me so much. As soon as I received it from Jeneil at Rhema's Hope, I got on the line, as it were, to organize a shoot here in San Diego. Oh Lord, "I want to be in that number!! When the saints go marching in..." was my theme song that day.

Maybe it's because of the campaign's edge. It's more Helen Reddy than Hallmark. It doesn't sugar-coat motherhood when autism is involved. As lovely and feminine as these women are, behind each one is a story of struggle, sorrow, hard work, loss, small victories and endless hope. The undefined yet undeniable details of their story make them all the more beautiful. To those of us in the same boat, the camaraderie is palpable. Proclaiming our reality focuses our force, strengthens our activism, magnifies our moxie, and generates gratitude for guts and grit.

The sermon this morning resonated with a related truth. Using the story of Ruth and Naomi as the springboard, our pastor pointed out that sorrow can form our deepest relationships. Both women are widowed, penniless, and destitute. Sharing this struggle bonded them more than any family parties or good times they'd ever had. How true. This would explain why I feel such kinship with each face and every far corner of the earth on this video. Women I've never had coffee with, never walked with, never partied with, but who I feel I know at a deep level.

Of course, the end of the story is that God blesses Ruth's faithfulness (to Him and her mother-in-law Naomi), with another husband, and a child who gives her place in the lineage of King David and Jesus of Nazareth. Not bad for a family that almost ended completely with 2 homeless beggar women!

I pray He will do the same for each of you "autism mothers" reading this. May God bless your faithfulness to Him and your family for generations to come.

Now, when are you taking a portrait in your 'hood?


Do a favor and win a friend forever; nothing can untie that bond. Proverbs 18:18-20 The Message


Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Romans 12:10-12 The Message


God reward you well for what you've done—and with a generous bonus besides from God, to whom you've come seeking protection under his wings. Ruth 2:10-12

A happening in my neck of the woods

Last month, an unprecedented gathering of the special needs community of faith took place at Mission Hills Church in San Marcos. The Concert of Prayer was born as a burden on the heart of one pastor's wife to be praying for those who experience special needs. A moving and shaking mother advocate pulled together several others who embraced the conviction as parents or professionals and our committee was born.

Our aim was to include everyone who is touched by special needs --from parents, to therapists, to bus drivers, to pastors, to intercessors--and unite our hearts in prayer. That night, the most exciting thing was being all together under one roof. The 85 who came shared many emotions and life circumstances as well as a pursuit of the same Shepherd. The diversity, and the unity, in one room was remarkable--a little slice of God's kingdom come.

The background song on the slideshow, "Fellow Traveler" by Ginny Owens, is one I sing at the top of my lungs in traffic cruising up and down Highway 5. The lyrics describe our pilgrimage here and the antidote to the all-to-common loneliness that resonates in the disability experience. It can feel like we're alone--the only one with this or that reality--and no one understands. The Concert of Prayer is a visual reminder that that is simply not true! We are in this together.

The song is made all the more special because Ginny Owens became a friend when she sang at our church Christmas Eve a couple years ago. She is a living testament of walking by faith not by sight. Comfortable in her own skin and blindness, she inspires and jokes and relates the guts of the gospel to me. I appreciate her musical bread crumbs that often lead this "fellow beggar" to a place where there is "rest...and true happiness"...as the lyrics go...

The beat rolls on; The enthusiasm was such that we have already begun planning for another Concert of Prayer soon. An inter-church council of churches with special needs ministries is emerging as well from the drawing board. I love when the Lord leads and answers prayer in bigger and better ways than we could have imagined!


"...always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, Philippians 1:3-5



Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. Psalm 84:4-6


"What is the outcome then? I will pray with the spirit and I will pray with the mind also; I will sing with the spirit and I will sing with the mind also." 1 Corinthians 14:14-16

Prayer Prompt

We have our own lexicon within the autism community.  Professionals of all sorts observe, analyze, and record data while about our children while hopefully simultaneously engaging them in meaningful interaction with love and genuine interest.  We have been blessed to have known and learned from some outstanding therapists in our home and in their clinics.  Early on I considered them personal tutors (to me) and learned from them.  That is the best way to become the quasi-professional moms that our kids require, right?

Do you remember when reminders became prompts? Does you husband respond like mine to aversives?  What reinforcers do you use to stay on your diet?

All kidding aside, we are more like our kids than different  We all need prompts.  Each and every day I receive one from the Systema's at Children of Destiny.  If you request it, they will prompt you too.  Just click on the Daily Prayer Subscription.  They ground each one in a Bible verse which keeps things doctrinally sound.  Since it is World Day of Prayer and Fasting for ASD, there are three verses today.  They also broadcast on Autism One Radio every Sunday.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?”
(Isaiah 58:6, NIV)

“Declare a holy fast ; call a sacred assembly. Summon the elders and all who live in the land to the house of the LORD your God, and cry out to the LORD.”
(Joel 1:14, NIV)

Dear Father,
As we participate in this fast today, we have two focuses that we are bringing before you in prayer. First, Lord, we pray for ______ (and name others with autism). We know that you are powerful and are able to heal. We come to you today and ask that you would send your healing touch in his/her life in ways we have never seen before. Father, we ask that you would touch him/her with your power, particularly for (name one, two, or several areas of particular concern to you today). Give us strategies, wisdom and understanding over every area in his/her life.
Secondly, we come to you on behalf of all those who are suffering with autism, and those who will be diagnosed in days ahead. Lord, you say that fasting helps to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke and that the oppressed are freed. In Jesus’ mighty Name, we come before you mixing our faith in you with the sacrifice of fasting. We boldly pray that the tide of autism will turn in the lives of individuals and will be wiped from the Earth for future generations!
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen

"When you fast do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
(Matthew 6:16-18, NIV)