Top 10 Tuesday

Top 1o People in my Neighborhood

10. the mustachioed traffic director at Reid's school

9. Laura who works Sunday mornings at Panera

8. Kaye at the library who has authority to waive fines

7. Alex at Henry's Marketplace whose "got my back"

6. Debbie with the "oy i'm late" license plates who waves vigorously

5. you-know-the-stockboy at Trader Joe's

4. a greenskeeper for our association

3. Larry, the greeter on our church patio

2. another mustachioed carpool line attendant at Allie's school

1. Jona at the Solana Beach Rubio's

I have friends--some really good friends--but I don't necessarily see them on a daily basis. This list of more anonymous types are people who, in truth, I barely know. Yet they brighten my day immensely with their undeniable joie de vivre. As you can see, I don't even know some of their names. They are familiar faces though, "people in my neighborhood" who like Mary Tyler Moore, "can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile." Each of them hasmade my day more times than I can count with a simple wave, a significant smile, or a gutsy greeting.

It doesn't take much. I am sure the greenskeeper waves to many residents as they pass by but boy oh boy when he puts that spade down to wave to me through the car window, well...I feel like his favorite!

Although we've only exchanged a dozen words ever, "Oy I'm Late" (the plate on her maroon van) flags me down in the "2 BY 2" (my Eurovan plate) as if I were driving on the rims or my engine was aflame. By the time I realize she's just waving hello, I feel like the president in a motorcade. Whether I bump into her in the produce aisle or a swim lane, she never fails to ask about Reid by name. She doesn't know our last name, wouldn't imagine that I blog, but she cares and she seems to get the gestalt of us. We are a piece in her puzzle, and she sees the big picture.

Likewise, the clerk at our nearest Panera has our Sunday morning goodies practically bagged and ready before we get to the counter. She is a bright spot of familiarity and belonging in our week, always asking, "how was church?"

Reid is a definite vehicle for this kind of VIP treatment since we call his name outloud in public places more than the norm. It seems we are repeatedly prompting him back to wait in line, away from the sneezeguard, or over to place his order. Before you know it, we've attained infamy at many local haunts. His ritualistic ordering of the same thing every week also aids her memory. Just the same, she has a gift of hospitality and uses it liberally to love on us, if only for the short exchange.

I could go on about each one (and may in future posts). For now, let's just ask each other, whose day can we make?

The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."Galatians 5:13-15

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man?" Luke 10:35-37

Hard as Rock or Soft as Chenille?

Our kitchen floor is slate: cold stone, hard, completely unforgiving.

We didn't put this flooring in, it came with the house. Daily it informs my household decisions. I buy juice in plastic; I've done away with most of my Pyrex; I prefer wire centerpieces. Drop anything--even Tupperware from the freezer--and it ends in smithereens! No give at all. We are down to two Fiestaware ceramic bowls and I have no one to blame but myself.

When the iphone hit it Sunday, we knew the floor wouldn't give. Maybe that made it easier for me to offer grace. I want to be like Jesus, filled with the Holy Spirit, gentle, kind, good, long-suffering, forgiving. It is a volitional choice, like yielding to traffic at the merge...like taking one for the gipper...like bending at the knees.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25

For years, I had a gorgeous rug from L.L. Bean atop the slate. It was luxuriously soft, braided chenille in rich, multi-colored hues of blue and green. It was forgiving! Not only did it give a little bounce to dropped breakables but it concealed spillage too. I once dropped a full pot of tomato sauce on it from the stove. Believe me when I tell you, it blended right in, practically improving the variegated opalescence of the fibers.

A whole strawberry smoothie, bags of frozen blueberries, red wine, you name it. That rug absorbed a brutal amount of defacement.

Guests would never have suspected any of our mishaps; they vanished even from our own memories. It turned the other cheek in a sense, as we flipped it for increased life expectancy. When I finally retired that rug it was not due to staining or ragged appearance, but because I thought surely it must be in violation of some health code.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

¹² as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; Psalm 103:11-13

Simon & Garfunkel would rather be a hammer than a nail. I'd rather be a rug than slate. And I am awfully grateful that my Father is too.

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:35-37

Being authentic as Kelly Langston has challenged, I will have to admit that I am way more forgiving, lenient, and merciful to Reid than I am to others. How often do I blame my husband or judge my neighbors as harshly as our slate floor treated that iPhone? No comment. In fact, Reid's disability gives him a "get out of jail free" card on many occasions. Could it be that God our Father treats us all as "special needs" as he gives us second and third and seventh chances?

If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him." Luke 17:3-5

Puzzled by Bumper Stickers

I have never been one for bumper stickers or wearing my thoughts on my sleeve. It's one of several ways in which my husband and I are opposites. In his college dorm room he had the door plastered, and I mean plastered 3 deep, with stickers from every restaurant, skateboard shop and surf manufacturer he'd ever visited. He loves Wahoo's, for the ambiance. (I do like Wahoo's but for the food, despite the ambiance.) Jim's poor, otherwise tasteful, sleek and trim Mini Cooper has been defaced for a good cause: Save Trestles.

An unwillingness to wear my thoughts on my bumper or across my chest does not mean I have no opinions. Oh contraire! I just don't care to offend those who are driving behind me or impose mine on uninterested parties. I am not even inclined to sport the IXOYE fish, although there is nothing I care more passionately about than the gospel of Jesus Christ. Maybe it is my Harmony strength that keeps me unlabeled, maybe just my introversion.

Last night though, I benefitted from one bumper sticker. In the unstructured cool of the summer evening, Reid wandered down our street and into some neighbors' yards and garages. We live on a pretty friendly, safe street and several families were out at the time with bikes and dogs so it didn't send panic through my veins as it has in the past. A neighbor graciously informed Allie, who called me and by the time I went out front Reid was casually walking home. He was followed at a distance by a kindly grandfather type to whom I waved (although I didn't recognize him). Clearly he was making sure Reid got to the right house safely.

A short time later, the 3 of us pedaled together on bikes into the cul de sac. I noticed an unfamiliar minivan with the infamous autism puzzle ribbon on it. Come to find out the kindly grandfather is David. His grandson also has autism and yes, that is his van. How we've both lived here for 7+ years and never met, I'll never understand. In any case, I thanked him for "walking Reid home" and we had a nice chat about his various grandchildren, mainstreaming, and the new puppy he was walking.

So the blasted bumper sticker does serve a purpose, I must confess, as conversation starter, introduction to new (and not so new) neighbors, and unifying element. If I ever sport any autism gear, (and that's a big if), it will not be the puzzle piece or the puzzling print but maybe one of these, available through Oddizm Autistry at CafePress.

photo credit: ocmexfood.blogspot.com, www.geocities.com

Look for a Neighbor

I just watched Snowcake starring Sigourney Weaver as an adult woman with autism. The movie is quirky in a Canadian way. It is an portrayal of autism updated from Rainman to be sure. Some scenes I love, like the one above.  They capture the glimmers of genius which those who look find. It speaks of forgiveness, redemption, and hope. The ending unknowingly illustrates a Biblical principle of neighborly love. Though she is reluctant and unappreciated for it, Maggie chooses to serve her neighbor with autism by taking out her trash--her most dreaded task. As far as I can tell, the story is fictional. 

The Collector of Bedford Street is true. This award winning documentary by Alice Elliott about her own neighborhood is an even better example of what the Bible calls us to do and how we are to do it--joyfully! Larry's neighbors care and take action using their gifts (financial planning and filmmaking) to provide a secure future for him. Larry is mentally disabled and also has gifts of his own (compassionate persistent philanthropy) which he employs for the benefit of society. Enjoy the trailer below and the clever website which is complete with discussion guides for your church or faith group and a street map of Larry's neighbors . 

I miss New York.  We had a neighbor who took us pleasantly by surprise when we first moved into a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights.  Jean Anderson was her name and I met her when our mail got confused. My maiden name was Anderson.  We sorted that out and would talk in the laundry room while she prepared for a ski trip (she was a sprightly 80 something)! In short order, I was invited up for sherry after work. She was intentional about neighboring which was not what we expected as newcomers to Cranberry Street. In hindsight it is more the norm in NYC than it is in Southern California. Alice and Larry are another case in point.

I am hearing the lyrics of our old favorite song off Karen Henley's Beginner's Bible audio CD and her Good Samaritan videotape: "Look for a neighbor, he will be the one, always standing by your side, when the day is done."  Autism Street blogger talks about a neighbor he learned a lesson from.  What have you learned from one of your neighbors?  And what have you done for one of them lately?

Love your neighbor as yourself...Which of these do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers? The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him. Luke 10:28-36

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:26-27

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.  Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-11