Safe!

For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; it is He who will save us. Isaiah 33:22

American Idol is on tonight! In addition to entertainment and joint focus for our family, it provides an apt illustration of this Scripture. Reid predicted Scotty McCreery as last year's winner and this year we're rooting for Joshua.

At first glance I did not link those 3 titles--judge, lawgiver, and king--with the concept of saving. Condemnation comes to mind before rescue. Certainly the three outline our judicial system and represent a triune God. But then I recalled how the American Idol judges graphically illustrate "the save." One save per season. Last year it was especially dramatic with Casey (click to view). We sit on pins and needles, braving the commercials, sweating each of Ryan Seacrest's fakes to see who will be cut each week. And then whether the judges will use their one save of the season or not.

The Bible is clear about God being judge. That's a relief! I don't have to concern myself with doling out criticism or seeing all sides of an issue. It's also clear on how to be saved.

Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” Acts 16:30-31

I feel for those American Idol contestants under the immense pressure of rejection. As each one gets cut, I pray they remember the difference between the judges and the Judge. It's easy to misplace our fear of the Lord. We will be inevitably defeated by the fear of man.

Not to put autism completely aside, we idolized our home program case manager. She was a godsend when Reid was 5 yrs. old. Her passion was to support families, especially moms in the early diagnosis stage. She was gifted at setting up a program, staffing, training, listening and walking alongside those in the midst of the initial panic and information gathering that marks that phase. I don't know how she put up with me--on the phone or my doorstep ranting and neurosing for hours on end.

She shared with me once that as much as she loved it, there was a pitfall. Emotionally desperate moms (myself included) tended to set her up as a "savior." She arrived on the scene with answers and seemed able to save their child from certain demise. This was a danger for her, since she knew that was not true. And also for them, since she was not omniscient, omnipotent, nor Savior. She could help, but she could not save even one of them.

Having made this mistake in degrees with others after her, I have finally learned that no therapist, drug, diet, or intervention can save Reid. God, the God who designed our sense of smell, heals sensory integration disorder. God, the one who knows our every thought, knows the mind of a even the nonverbal child with autism. No expert, no matter how expensive or experienced, can direct us as well as God can through His Holy Spirit. Don't give them the power that is God's alone, to save....from autism or any other human condition, including death itself.

The insanely good news is that Jesus has more than one save per season!! He came to save us all.

‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' Acts 2:20-22

Correlated with Children of Destiny's Turning the Tide! Prayer calendar for April.

All God's Children

If you've never been in a room full of kids with disabilities, you haven't lived!

That wish may not be at the top your bucket list but, trust me if you ever get the chance it will tip your whole bucket upside down. Add music, worship or performance to that room and you approach an other-worldly experience that quickly becomes spiritual.

There is nothing quite so humbling or profound as watching people express themselves creatively without inhibition. I have had this experience a handful of times: at a Music Therapy Center recital, at Beyond Limits adult Sunday school class, and at the Young Life Capernaum Club Talent Show last June. Take a peek at what our friend Sean Horton captured on film.

Capernaum Talent Show from Sean Horton on Vimeo.

My experience must only begin to approach God's delight at watching us, his children--all of us differently-abled--using the gifts He gave us freely without comparison or ego or pride to adulterate them. It's pure and true to a liberating extent.

"Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart." 1 Samuel 16:6-8

“To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey." Matthew 25:14-15

Photo credit: Bill Wilson

P.S. You're invited to visit a Capernaum Club every other Thursday night at 6:30 at Flood church offices on Ruffin Road in San Diego.

In Which Self-Talk Reveals

Ok, this clip from Father of the Bride is more than just hilarious. I'm searching for it as I work on a book proposal recounting our April 2010 to April 2011 adventure as it relates to and requires a number of re-words. "Re: Re: RE: REID!" is my working title.

I needed to recall Steve Martin's choice list as he flounders to control the attack dogs:

Relent?

Recoil...

"I'm Relaxed..."

Reverse*

Release!

Much more on that later, but I happened upon something easier to tell in one sitting. You hear Steve Martin's self talk? As in numerous comedies, it is made audible in the movie for laughs.

"All I could think about was the size of this place...we coulda parked our whole house in the foyer..."

I live this brand of comedy daily. Reid lets us know exactly what he is thinking with an increasing amount of self-talk both at home and school. On the surface it is just one more "maladaptive" behavior to reckon with and raise concern. Looking deeper, the self-talk is actually worth much more than a few laughs.

Reid's externalized thought process literally reveals his motivations, where he's stuck, what challenge he's facing, and how hard he is attempting to do the right thing. It's a gift of revelation. A helpful tool in showing us how to set his potential free.

By talking to ourselves (albeit silently), don't we all process what is happening around us. We might encourage ourselves or beat ourselves up. Surely we prep up for the day's challenge over the coffee pot or in the closet choosing what to wear. Listen to yourself and take note of how much dialogue you have with yourself.

As I realize this, I am actually grateful that Reid's thoughts are as pure as they are. He sounds an awful lot like Paul in Romans ruminating over the battle between our old and new natures:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:15-20

Sing, Sing a Song, make it anything

Scene from Elf:

Scene at our House:

Mom (from bottom of stairs in a sing song voice): "Good morning, good morning, good morning; it's time to wake up; it's the last day of school before break; it's your day to swim at the Plunge; it's time for breakfast so you don't miss the bus..."

Reid (from upstairs on his feet, entering bathroom): "Stop singing Mom."

The good news: Music motivates. He got up.

The bad news: I do not have a hit single on my hands.

On Earth as it is...

Need a summer movie rental (for mature audience)? As It Is In Heaven, a Swedish film nominated for Best Foreign Film Hollywood Awards available from Netflix, is incredibly thought provoking. It is a compelling story about how to really love your neighbors. It is also a testament to the power of music to transform a entire community. And how can you speak about love without inclusion!

Tore is a young man experiencing developmental disability in the film. Some in the community call him a "cuckoo" others accept, comfort, shepherd, even learn from him. The filmmakers realistically depict the interdependence model Kathie Snow extrapolates here in her Disability Is Natural newsletter. As God would have it here on earth, Tore is not the only one with special needs who needs a little help now and then.

Despite his innocence, he is wise to tension often sensing what others miss or ignore. This closing scene is meant to intrigue not to spoil. (If you want the preview instead click here.) As the town choir takes the stage at a choral competition without their conductor, Tore takes an unplanned leadership role. The result weaves together several threads of the movie.

Life is not about being able. It is not about achievement. It is not about winning. Redemption is messy and beautiful. It requires vulnerability and courage. In some measure, both require finding your own voice and joining a chorus of others.

God has a will and a purpose in each of our lives. The conductor in the movie states his calling early in life: to open people's hearts with music. A tutor of Reid's asked me recently, "What is yours?" I hemmed and hawed awkwardly, having just met her after all. "Go ahead," she urged, "there's no one listening, just you and me, what is it?"

She was unrelenting as I stuttered in embarrassment and false pride. I choked out what was pounding in my chest but had never been articulated: to convince people that there is always hope. I was grateful for her insistence last night as Reid and I lounged in the hot tub. Out of the blue he blurted, "Mom, what's your destiny?" I had an answer!

When I turned the question on him he shot back, "to sing."

What's yours?

This, then, is how you should pray:

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come, your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you,

your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men their sins,

your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6

Made to Make Music

Here is yet another example of how much power music has to give hope, to provide opportunity, to build awareness, to demonstrate skill, to make you cry, to entertain, to enable communication, to enhance our understanding of others, to change the world.

David Militello sang Ben by the Jackson Five on America's Got Talent and won the hearts of the audience. I love the part when his mom shares what she is thinking; this is what he was made to do. Some call that destiny. The belief that we each have one inspired the formation of Children of Destiny and is laced through the books and resources they provide from daily prayer subscriptions to AutismOne Radio broadcasts on Sunday. What is it you were made to do?



The lyrics of that song are pretty poignant in themselves. I am enjoying a devotional from the library by Ann Spangler, Praying the Names of Jesus. In it she devotes one week to meditating on Jesus as Friend. He is the one who lays down His life for a friend (John 15:13), who cares about the daily goings-on of his disciples and asks, "Friends, haven't you caught any fish?" (John 21:4-7), and who no longer calls us servants because "everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:14-16) You've got a friend in deed!


He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend. Proverbs 22:10-12

Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend. Job 16:19-20


From the lips of children and infants, you have ordained praise ...Psalm 8:2

Bands of Light

Nerves ran high before the Kingsmen band performed at a local Borders last Tuesday. At least the parents were concerned and a bit self-conscious about letting our adolescent boys make this debut public appearance.

The boys belted out "Hang on Sloopy" and the youngest member of the band (9) graced us with a heartfelt solo of Ingrid Michaelson's poignant song "The Way I Am."

"Don't Worry about a Thing" chirped the Bob Marley lyrics as they called it a night. Reid said his obligatory thank you's to the cluster of teachers who came to support him, negotiated a DVD purchase with Dad and off we went to bed on a school night.

All's well that ends well. Practice makes perfect. Keep up the good work. Oh ye of little faith. Music in a universal language. The show must go on. You don't mind if I write in all cliches, do you?

How often have you been in a place where you could not see the future but needed to step into it anyway? The boys did this. The band leaders from The Music Therapy Center of California did it. We, moms, did it. As parents of kids with autism, we are pioneers whether we like it or not. I hadn't realized until afterwards what uncharted territory it is to have a special needs band performing in a neurotypical, public venue. It shouldn't matter and in many ways it didn't matter. At the same time, that is what made it meaningful.

Perhaps the most telling commentary were from the store manager afterwards. He said the 30 minute show was better than most of the in-store events they've had. What's more...he'd love to have the Kingsmen back on a regular basis! We'll have to see about that*@!*? (His son was not in the band; I promise.) Music has a universal appeal and so does hope. Could it be that hope is what he found appealing? Hope is compelling, even marketable to him, his clientele, and to the world.

My nephew has been to Berklee school of music and led bands from Boston to LA with his magnanimous personality and superior saxophone skill. He told Reid once that "Half of success is just showing up." Woody Allen thought it was 80%. True, practical, sage advice for any man. Much of what we need to know in life can be boiled down and made that simple...whether its the gospel, making a living, or pursuing a dream.

Flame is a band who just showed up and now they have a custom fire painted tour bus! The group began as a recreation program at Lexington Center in New York state. They were so well received by local audiences that they've now recorded two CD's and are moving from regional to national ambitions. Check out this promo tape and you'll wonder, is it Tracy Chapman or is it Michelle King? Reading the bios of Michelle and the other band members makes that old "Up, up with people" track run through my mind!



I don't do prophecy but I do enjoy forward thinking! Does anyone know of other bands like Flame and the Kingsmen? Please chime in if you do.


"By day you led them with a pillar of cloud, and by night with a pillar of fire to give them light on the way they were to take." Nehemiah 9:12


"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!" 1 Corinthians 13:12-13 The Message

"...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us." Romans 5:3

Music: Let it Move You

Don't get me started on music therapy!  I should probably start a mega-theme or Music Monday column to cover the volumes of thoughts I have related to the power of music to transform our lives.  

Apparently, I am not the only one.  Have you seen the movie, Young at Heart?  Although the movie doesn't focus on him I wonder many things about Bob Cilman, the leader of this choral group of seniors: What did he do previously?  How did his passion for music connect with an interest in seniors? Does he know he is doing music therapy? What are his natural instincts and strengths?  No doubt he is a Developer on the StrengthsFinder inventory by Tom Rath like Reid's music therapist par excellence, Angela Neve. I also wonder why there aren't similar groups in every single nursing home--especially my Nana's in Ohio--to appropriate the vitality and sense of purpose that singing together and preparing to perform brings these seniors who are simultaneously vibrant and dying.  

Seniors singing together is a relatively simple concept.  (Maybe most good ideas are simple--once they're thought of!)  The further genius of the project though is their repertoire of songs.  Cilman has this geriatric choir doing Sonic Youth, Beatles, Ramones, and James Brown covers!  They don't particularly like the songs.  I don't really either;  except when they take on new life sung from an unexpected vantage point.  With years of life experience and the wisdom of age, the seniors give new meaning to these lyrics.  When Fred croons "Fix Me" as a memorial to his dear friend it means more than Coldplay ever imagined.  This juxtaposition is what makes the film profound.  (Then again maybe I am selling Coldplay.  A similar thing happened when Reid sang "Scientist"  last fall.)

Young at Heart is inspirational on many levels and for all ages.  It depicts mutual trust between director and choir.  It's novelty makes us laugh, not at the unusual, but in acknowledgment and recognition.  It models the importance of mental flexibility and teachability.  The film captures the therapeutic magic of music.  

Also irresistible is the empowerment of a group of people who are otherwise dismissed from our society.  Like those with autism and other disabilities, many seniors can feel isolated, forgotten, neglected by the end of their lives.  Young at Heart demonstrates another truth; they in fact, have untapped potential and loads to offer--not just on the sidelines but in commercial venues at the forefront of our culture! 

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  1 Corinthians 1:27

'Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.  Leviticus 19:32

As they make music they will sing, "All my fountains are in you." Psalms 87:7